I just wanted to say (as a general statement) it's not, to me at least, about being on the side of "us" or the LBS. It's not about gender either.
It is unacceptable for somebody to get raked to the core financially when they are not the one who walked out on a marriage and family. That goes for EVERYBODY.
Divorce changes things for BOTH spouses. It is a very unfortunate side of the entire experience but standards of living, income and other "business issues" change for all parties involved. It doesn't mean one party should roll over and go broke just because they happen to have a good job and some cash to burn.
Divorce gets mingled with all kinds of feelings. We are not robots. Divorce though is the actual dissolution of the legal side of divorce. The other side of divorce is what we work on here or in C'ing or whatever support/learning system you choose to participate in.
I realize I misread on another thread and the term BITCHES was used like the book ya'll talk about. Man or woman though there comes a time when you (generally speaking) have to say NO MORE draining.
I do feel for Antlers and Romeo... not because they are my DB friends or because they are men who sometimes get a raw deal via the legal system. I feel for them because all they wanted to do was provide for their family and now the most noble thing in the world is coming back to bite them hard. I would feel for them if they were women - it's sad for them as people!
So yeah, sometimes you have to take an awfully hard stance and it is scary and hurtful and totally out of the realm of what is "normal".
