part of me really wants to drop this. from our discussions, we discovered the root cause of this. is it still necessary to bring it up with my h? maybe i'm learning to be compassionate but i know that those words were said because he was hurt. it doesn't make it okay but i also need to choose my battles. the 'gold digger' comment only came out after the d-bomb was dropped. it didn't break our marriage, per se.
after you allowed me to talk about my past, i have somewhat come to terms with it because now i too know the real reason why it hurt. if i don't let it define me, it won't hurt.
please let me know if i'm being a doormat about it.
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Obviously use your own thoughts but I think you need to be able to articulate the most pressing issues without getting emotional in a negative way. This means you have no expectations for the outcome but you want to apologise for your behavior and let him know (in a loving way) that he has some responsiblity in this as well (truth darts). That to me is part of dropping the rope.
yes, i agree. i think intimacy is a pressing issue. and being a priority in our marriage is another pressing issue. i chose those two because they caused the most emotional pain for both of us.
i'm also starting to see how your statements are full of "i"'s and not "you".
and this is along the same line as what forrest told me. come up with a statement where with no finger pointing. something i can say face to face with no emotion.
