tired of this

[A_goodman]

Dan,

Trust me you've helped me far more than I've helped you. I don't think you're being petty or unrealistic in the least. NOW, Mrs. F...well. I think our W's are drinking the same water there.

You are right about their future happiness. They are going to be shrivelled up hags in 10 years. Before you ladies get upset at that apparent pearl of sexism, I don't mean physically. I don't know about Dan, but my W is very attractive and I fully expect her to age gracefully. In my mind, She will ALWAYS be a babe. I was looking forward to gazing lovingly at my W for decades to come. I meant shrivelled up emotionally. Mine already had a problem with negativity and can be downright mean at times. Without my stabilizing optimism and positive outlook (I know it doesn't show today, but it's my normal state), I expect her to spiral into depression and discontent. She'll become the characature of a mean old woman.

Sure she'll be happy for a while. She'll probably have an endless string of R's. There won't be any lack of guys willing to be with her...at first. I can't imagine many who'll be willing to put up with her CB as long as I did.

However, eventually, she'll start to experience REAL negativity. The stuff that MWD and all the pros said waits for them after the D will tear her up. Looking into the eyes of the kids will eventually break her down. Maybe not at first. But eventually.

The financial realities might be overlooked at first. It might seem like an adventure. Like recapturing the feeling of youth when we didn't have anything. But that will start to wear on her too.

Then the memories will start popping up. or she'll have something happen that she'll want to share with me, but I won't be there for her. Then the guilt. I believe that the guilt will be crushing when she comes to her senses.

She doesn't want to hear any of this now. And I'm done bringing it up. I'm just sorry that She's going to end up a miserable, cranky old hag when she could have been something special.

ME? I'm, going to be just fine. I'll not feel all that guilt and unhappiness. I did my part. I stood on the line until I was the last man standing. I will carry forward with MY dignity intact and be able to look myself in the mirror. And my future Rs will be what I want them to be, because I didn't have this stupid fantasy about life and will not be disillusioned going in. And because I carry the battle scars to remind me to live life MY WAY.

Of course, that doesn't keep me from getting angry right now while this is happening. You know, I think I figured out what started me down this road today. I'll post it sepperately

Anyway, thanks Dan (and all you others) for being there. I consider you a good friend.