Long Distance Issues.....Possible WAW

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Im just scared to death right now. I thought that she was going to do mediation and we would sit down and hammer out a parenting plan, ect.

We never talked about going to see lawyer right off the bat. What i am supposed to think? What is the normal process regarding this anyways? Can someone give me like a normal timeline or something.

This has got me freaked out!

Mediation should not be done without each party having their own lawyer representing them ANYWAY. I always recommend you have your own atty check over any agreements hammered out in mediation, BEFORE you sign them, and any good mediator should recommend the same thing. Mine did (and fortunately, it never came to that).

Puppy

[LRT Land]

DC - if both parties want to move forward, mediation can be good because then you are deciding the terms instead of the judge. If you can't agree, it gets expensive because then you still have to fight it out with lawyers in front of a judge. I agree with puppy that you would want a lawyer to look over anything you sign. In some states, a lawyer that represents you in mediation can't represent you in a divorce. Ask about that.

Also, keep in mind that even when a D is filed, your lawyer should be able to make it go faster or slower - as you wish.

[Dazed&Confused]

She is now asking for a list of items that I want from the house, and said that we need to sit down and discuss child support payments!

God I hate this!

I am not going to respond to any of those questions. I have emailed a hand ful af atty's, just waiting to hear back from one and set up my "free" consultation.

This is all so frustrating. I will be on the treadmill tonight!

[LRT Land]

A good response to these requests is "let me think about that and I'll get back to you" or "let me think about that. I'm not quite ready to have that discussion."

The key here is to delay things until YOU know what YOU want.

[Dazed&Confused]

Thanks for the insight Puppy and LRT. I am just so confused. Hopefully one of these atty's emails me back with some info and time to call. I just need to know what is going on....

[Puppy Dog Tails]

A good response to these requests is "let me think about that and I'll get back to you" or "let me think about that. I'm not quite ready to have that discussion."

The key here is to delay things until YOU know what YOU want.

Yep -- perfect.

[Dazed&Confused]

Great, thanks LRT and Puppy. I will be using that line. I am going to let her have to ask me again though first. She is meeting with the lawyer today, so it might not be that long.

She is still emailing multiple times a day, and I am trying to let them go. Today was again about the lawn mower. Wanted to let me know that she got it fixed. Replaced the spark plug that I recommended.

And then about my health care insurance. With me going overseas for the year, my company MADE me switch to an international coverage insurance. It still pisses me off. My plan in the States was much better, and covered way more. Yes, it was more expensive, but still. I was just upset that my only options were NO coverage or the international plan with only covers 85% of just about everything.

In any case she had questions about that because her prescriptions cost a little more. I outlined what the changes were to her once already, but I guess she deserves them again. I am going to wait though.

I am starting to see why so many people have so many questions about detachment. I have read ALOT of sitches on this site, and am realizing that I am approaching the phase where people begin to question if they care which way their current sitch goes. I looked at the last family picture we took together before I left last night, and for the first time didn't cry. It wasn't anger either, it was more of disbelief. Not denial, it's hard to explain.

I guess what I am saying is, I am slowly realizing that there is only so much that I can do. You guys have been great, and I will keep you up to date on what she brings back from her consult. Take care....

D&C

[Dazed&Confused]

Im just scared to death right now. I thought that she was going to do mediation and we would sit down and hammer out a parenting plan, ect.

We never talked about going to see lawyer right off the bat. What i am supposed to think? What is the normal process regarding this anyways? Can someone give me like a normal timeline or something.

This has got me freaked out!

Mediation should not be done without each party having their own lawyer representing them ANYWAY. I always recommend you have your own atty check over any agreements hammered out in mediation, BEFORE you sign them, and any good mediator should recommend the same thing. Mine did (and fortunately, it never came to that).

Puppy

So how far did your sitch progress? What steps did you guys go through? I'm just curious.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

She is still emailing multiple times a day, and I am trying to let them go. Today was again about the lawn mower. Wanted to let me know that she got it fixed. Replaced the spark plug that I recommended.

That one's easy. THERE IS NO QUESTION IN THERE. No response necessary.

And there's nothing even in the health insurance question that is urgent, so I'm glad you're not responding right away to that. A delayed, "Yes, we'll have to sort all of those things out" should be fine.

Puppy

[Dazed&Confused]

Well, just got an email from the wife. Her appt. with the lawyer got cancelled. Rescheduled for Thurdsay. Yeah me, another two days of hell!

Atleast she is not asking why I am not emailing her back. It's hard to believe the my best friend for the past 13yrs has become a stranger in less than 2 weeks. I am still shocked by this I guess.....