New Game- Exposed

[MHL]

They, of course, are oversimplified and mention the syptoms rather than "the disease" but there aren't too many layers to that onion. "Lack of sex; lack of physical contact; not feeling loved; etc" It's odd that she couldn't see that I had the same marriage as all of these things are "two way" issues.

You understand the process we are speaking of and what we need to get at, meaning the "disease". Back up a bit....go ahead and list some of the oversimplified symptoms.

What was number one in her mind. Forget that you had the same complaint about her. You have obviously read "HTIYMWOTAI" and understand the vicious cycle, it is not enough to stop your bad behavior but instead you have to eliminate that behavior as an option within you. In order to do this you have to practice it.

Lets assume that you really don't pay attention when she is talking to you. You cannot work on that with her but you can certainly practice being a better listner with other women. It could be women at work, your mom, a friend, whoever. With TIME you could start to change the way you communicate with women in general.

Underway. Any "onion peeling" books you or anyone else recommend? Though raised Catholic, religion based (Dobson) or "Frou-frou" language (e.g. wholeness, inner you, 'accept your inner truth' stuff) tends to glaze me over.

You have "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and the other is "Hold on to your N.U.T s." These two keep the language pretty real and down to earth.

I think the hard inner work that Grit and some others I will send your way will help you discover is just how much you Love your wife dispite her utter and total disrespect for you. Dobson covers this pretty good in "Tough Love". It is the part of setting them free but doing so out of Love not out of self satisfaction. You may claim that you have done it but believe me it is not easy.

I think you can start to arrive at that crucial step by working on some of the other more mundane things, like communication.

Yep that's right I called communication mundane. Sure it is key in any relationship and any person can become a better communicator but that does not change why we love our spouses.

I am going to give away some thunder here. Right now most people Love their spouse because of what that spouse does for "US" in return. The key to success here is to Love your spouse with no expectation of "anything" in return. You have to remove yourself from the equation of loving her. You have to totally remove your wants and desires from your "LOVE" of her.

This is not done overnite.