I really liked MWD's line about how one person can change "the dance". But it is oversimplified. The other person can choose to simply continue the "old dance"; choose "not to dance" anymore; or "change partners"
I think that's a pretty astute observation, CD.
Also, you didn't miss the boat on thinking you were to simultaneously affair-bust and GAL. I can only speak for my own approach, but to put it more accurately than I did above, it is:
1) simultaneously confront-and-expose, while beginning your GALing/180s/"shining a path back towards the marriage."
2) phase out of your intel, decreasing its frequency, while more fully implementing GALing/180s/"shining a path."
It's really Day One that you begin the "look great/smell great" part of your plan.
