I would have been really put off a few weeks ago if my H had strongly initiated sx. Yes, he initiated D instead, but now we are having one of the strongest, closest times ever in our M.
My guess is we had both reached a point where "forced" sx with the other would have been a turnoff. He was still attracted but resentful. I had no attraction or interest to him or anyone else. We would not even undress in front of each other and slept in separate rooms.
I think pinhead you get that I"m not talking about baby steps forever here - there has to be a meeting of the minds at some point. For me, I think that took about 10 days of baby steps for the first sx, which definitely focuses more on him, and then probably another solid week before it became mutual. If either of us had felt "forced" it would NOT have happened.
pinhead - give her nonphysical attention. If you are getting short respones back away and try again another time. Bring up some memory that will make you both laugh. Don't dwell on it - just put it out there. When you feel the tension melting, start with the touching. When she doesn't pull away from that, take it further.
This is all my two cents and maybe worth only that, but I am a girl even tough I was/am the LBS - who refused to be LB without a fight.
Getting to "laughing" and "fun", is a surefire way to be in the zone where you will have physical intimacy.
Too often in DB'ing and Limbo land, were stuck on remaining true to our principles, being strong, showing no weakness, the power dynamic, etc... Good for argumentation, not good for the sex.
