tired of this

[LRT Land]

Goodman - I think you should read the part in DR about looking for signs to see if what you are doing is working. Maybe there are small clues you are missing. I think the fact your W came on a family outing is huge - to me that means she's still got a foot in the door.

Try not to focus on the finances even though it's scary and painful and makes you see red. I am the higher earner. I would take a hit in the short-term I am sure, but I also know that the courts these days do not just split things 50/50. I had a friend who earned a 1/3 of what her H made - maybe even 1/4. She initiated the D. She did not get alimony and they share custody 50/50 and she gets miniscule child support. Anyway, I say don't focus on the finances because it will detract you from your goal, which is to have a M that works for both of you or end it civily so you can move on to the R that is right for you.

It is so hard to live in limbo. I know - I've done it for years and never moreso than than last several weeks. Live your life the way YOU choose to live it - be the best partner YOU can be - and if she climbs on your train then HURRAY! And if not, you will be better off in the end.