While he's still here, have him put together a schedule, you and this baby have a life and are not at his beck and call for when the whim crosses him to see the kido.
let the reality of divorce and visitation sink in, make him have to think ahead, he's certainly thought ahead about what he's doing about his job in another country with this ow and purchasing a return ticket, is his child not that important??
I don't mean to come across harsh, i am just fed up with men thinking they can parent when it suits them. It's pathetic and immature on their part and harmless to children.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
The only person Piano you have to be worried about is the innocent child born into teh situation and you being responsible parent doing what is best for that child, not your h, not your family, just your child.
He has 50% parenting rights J-star. I am afraid I could not deny him if I even wanted.
You have a court document to that effect? Who is the custodial parent-or who has physcial custody of your baby?
Taking into consideration what he is doing is called neglect in most places is criminal and can alter custody.
If neglect is to strong of a word, he's a wayward father, and if push came to shove, have a custody determination with professionals, chances are they would determine he's bad news.
Document everything. Wouldn't 50% mean he has the child 50% of the time as well. then do the opposite, he has to take the child 50% of the time. something you may not be comfortable with but to me 50% means equal share of child, let those realities sink in.
again i'm speaking from varied perspectives, 1 being a teacher for over 10 years-experiencing the behavior, and emotional damage to kidos, 2 now 18yr old daughter with horrible divorce
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
J-star, I live in a 'no fault' country, and the courts would say 'wayward' is better than nothing. We don't have sole custody in this country, or custody at all for that matter (we used to...but it changed in the 70s) - we have co-parenting, UNLESS one parent is a convicted criminal or an alcoholic. When he is gone, I think I will ask a L about if there is anything to be done --- I don't want to get in the way of the possibility of him being a good father. Let him fail at it himself, I won't push. But what I don't want is for e.g., to have to ask his "permission" every time I leave the country with my girl (at customs)
Good idea about the schedule. WH came over. I stayed in bed. He didn't remark on the fact that is must be hard for me to be looking after a newborn when I am sick. I am SO angry at his selfishness, to not even say 'Can I get you something?', or offer to look after HIS baby for a few more hours. I mean, WHAT sort of person, let alone father, is he????
Piano, I am very sorry your H is being so clueless and selfish. I do think a schedule is helpful also to document when he DOESN'T show up...you can use that for the courts if need be....
I get the guilt, btw. It doesn't mean it's bad or good...just an emotion.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
