You've done a good thing by reading the love languages book, and I assume you've read The Sex-Starved Marriage or you wouldn't be here. Have you read Passionate Marriage? I didn't read it until we had been trying together for over a year and a half, and although I got a lot out of it, I think it would have helped me back when I was where you are now--starting out and dealing with the uncertainty over whether your spouse will work with you. I recommend it.
