Well the kids and I went to church Sunday, we had a great time. Looking forward to next week. The wife said she is still keeping our thursday counseling apt. She isnt talking much at all. She will take a call and just listen, last night I sent a text asking why she was going out of her way to act like she hated me. She respond "I dont hate you, your the one who said stuff like that". Which I did about 2 years ago, I got mad becuase she was stone walling and in anger said it. I told her I would rather hear it every day from her than for her to act it out like she has done and is still doing. Of course she doesnt say anything. She knows she is in the wrong but is too proud to say it. We both did bad things, I have forgiven but she acts like what I did was so terribly worse than her actions and thats not just the case. It confusing becuase if she believes what she is saying why doesnt she just file for a divorce? So I have no clue what she is thinking. School starts back for the kids in two weeks and with our living arrangements its going to be hard on them and us. She sees that but then when I talk about that she said I dont know what you want me to say. I then say you know this doesnt need to go on for a long time (meaning, the only answer to that problem is her coming home and us working on it) and she said yes I know that. Im not sure what that means either. Because if we divorce this is the same arrangement that we will have. I still have it in Gods hands, but she is confusing with her words and actions. She also knows if she comes home her job hours will have to change. That either means a differnt position or new companey. She likes her job but admits its hell on our marriage and family. So I dont know if she is mulling over what she is and isnt willing to do or what. A few weeks ago she was saying she was trying and doing what was needed and a week ago said she was pretty much done. Now she is still going to counseling but not saying anything if she is on board or not? She has noticed the changes in me. She likes to throw that up to me like " I know your close to perfect now", I simply respond Im far from it, Im just trying to correct my mistakes and save my marriage and change my life and I wish she would do the same. I have also told her she has no reason to be gone anymore. She says nothing. I told her everything she complained about has been or is being changed, she still says nothing. I feel good about whats going on with me and I feel that bolds well for the marriage, just her being angery and going out of her way to seem distant, its so silly I really just cant believe it. Thoughts?
