I think we have turmed a corner. After him asnwering nearly all of my 37 questions (didnt remember them all to ask), I got upset and mad. PMSing and THAT was not a good combination. But, very quickly, overnight, I felt better. I wasnt mad at him, I felt closer to him. Funny huh? Anyway, the truth is that what I did learn just confirmed the "vanity" of his affair but also the intensity and the craziness. According to him which is also what I had read, the affair started in August 2006 and by summer 2008 he wanted out. A little less of 2 years but less than a year after he left our home and M. So, secrecy did fuel the damn affair in my case as well.
He also said that although he knew he wanted me and our family and felt he loved me deeply, the fact that I found out actually made the final detachement from her faster and more drastic. He said when he told her I knew details but was pretty calm about it (ONLY the first night, LOL) she replied that "of course I were, I knew it all along". I cant explain it but she put me down a bit and from what he sounded he didnt like it that she questioned my "pain"? Hard to explain.
Anyway, still ways to go but he seemed to be shocked by my honest explanation about how humiliated I feel, how hurt and how sometimes I feel I am discounting my values by staying with him: I was taught to NOT allow others to mistreat me or disrespect me. He kept on about how HE feels humiliated, HE is the laughing stock of all our friends and family, HE feels he f@cked up royally etc. And I agreed ( ). Only, that, that doesnt mean I dont feel the same way also but for different reasons.
I really need to go on vacation and I am struggling to come to work every day. 2 weeks wont be enough... K
). Only, that, that doesnt mean I dont feel the same way also but for different reasons.
