Par4me, sorry I havnt replied - been out of town a while, and just felt like giving my mind a break from the whole sitch! I dont' blame you for not trusting her motives, but at the same time, they may very well be genuine, and if it were me I would give her just oone more chance, but I suppose that really depends on whether you've had the last straw or not, which we all do eventually....let me know what the latest is. I'll look for your sitch.
For me things have changed slightly, dont know if they are classified as baby steps , or just the natural progression of two married people accepting the seperation , but H has become more comfortable around me, he was always a little stiff, but he's loosened up a bit, and even comes nearer to me, which he just couldnt do before. He (for a few days anyway) started signing off his texts with a smiley face, which was different, progress? And he started trying hard to do really nice things for me, bringin round cds for me, bringing wine, buying us takeout and eating it together. S and I spent a day out at the river with him and his friends (our old circle friends that sort of stuck to his side, cause its his childhood friend),it was VERY different to the usual, or the couple times I've been before.
I drove up just for one day, they had all stayed overnight, I arrived in the morning and he and S were waiting there for me, usually he just lets me come find him. Then when we were on the boat he asked if I was ok, not too cold - usually doesn't ask. He actually came to sit closeish to me on the boat. Sat next to me at lunch, could have sat elsewhere, dunno, just a change, he was at ease.
And then he offered to drive me and S back home, which he avoided before. Dunno, could be nothing, not getting hopes up.
For now, I'm quite happy to just be his friend, I'm hoping that things find their way back to love.
The anger seems to be gone now, and the coldness...fingers crossed it stays that way!!!
I've totally dropped the rope, I never approach him for anything really, I've just completely let him be, and I'm carrying on with making my life more joyful for me, and thats where I'm at now. I think he may just be totally relieved that the pressure is off, and he wants to stay my friend , as he mentioned at the beginning with the speech.
The thing thats changed for me now, is that I'm happy to be his friend, I enjoy his company (when he's not mr meanie pants), and we are comfortable with eachother, one of the reasons I fell in love with him, he was just so easy to be around, and we clicked straight away. Ofcourse I still can't help staring at his gorgeous face, and thinking, I miss you, you gorgeous man, are you still in there somewhere?
I'm seeing more of the 'old him' that I havnt seen in about 6 months, is that good in terms of MLC/depression?
Time to hop in the shower and go meet my 2 gf's for a good ol chinwag at the coffee shop round the corner
