I'd like to say thanks to everyone for chiming in with positive thoughts after my blubbering Friday nite. I really means a lot to me to get such support from you guys and gals. I apologized to my neighbors today for the same and their reaction was the same as everyone here. No problem, don't worry about it, that's what friends are for. It really helps to have such good friends and to know that I am not alone in my situation.
Again, I'd like to say a heartfelt thank you to all of you out there who have chosen to stick with me and provide support. It is GREATLY appreciated.
Journaling:
Well, it turned out to be a very good weekend after all. I slept in on Saturday and then took my kids to a party/picnic at an old friends house. He has an annual summer party that I have not been able to make it to for a couple of years and it was good to see everyone again. My kids were on the fence about going, but he has a pool and they love to swim, so they decided to go. The kids had a great time!!
His parents were there and his wife's parents were there and I had some conversation with the mothers about my situation. They knew my W had decided to get D and they told me not to blame myself and talked about how my generation seemed to take M so lightly. They said they had very tough times too, but hadn't thrown in the towel. They just couldn't believe the situation and wished me the best.
Talked with another friend there who is also D and he assured me that I wouldn't have any trouble finding a new woman. He understood the pain I am going through, but said not to let it get me down and that she would be the one to regret this eventually. He said it was obvious how much I loved her.
Got home a little after 8pm and W was out somewhere. Had a fire in the backyard with the kids.
Slept in again on Sunday, completed some performance appraisals for work and then took the kids fishing. They have been bugging me to go for quite a while, so I decided I owed it to them. It's actually tougher thinking about going than actually doing it. We had a good time. Caught a few keepers and enough others to keep the kids entertained. Got home and cleaned-up by 9:30pm or so.
Was on my way to bed when I decided that my little blonde bartender might appreciate a visit, so I headed over there about 10pm with no word to STBXW. Has a nice little chat with her and some others at the bar, including the owner, who I am also getting to know quite a bit. Chatted about a number of topics, including her garden. Told her I was going to bring in some of my peppers for her to try. left after 3 beers and she riminded me to bring in the peppers next time I came. I think I may have to stop in on Thursday eveningto see her, since I will be out of town the next week.
meeting with Atty tomorrow and court on Tuesday. Got some child support and alimony numbers from the atty on Friday that did not make me happy. How can they justify splitting our combined incomes 50/50 for the next 5-7 years? She gets the benefit of my work, but what benefit do I continue to get? None! My atty told me that there is no justice in that court room, so don't expect to get any. This just makes me sick. She wants out and she gets all the benefits. How is that fair?
I guess that life is not fair, but you just have to deal with it.
