joint counseling session in the morning, need help

[Chuck66]

dad1,
You have to remain calm when they are angry. I tried that for days and the anger was there every day and I was thinking this DBing is full of crap. Eventually though I kept my cool and did not argue. I tried to be as calm as possible and did have some slip ups, but overall I tried to agree with her. "You are absolutely right about me being controlling and you not being affectionate and I should have trusted your instincts on relationships." That was the line I said when I I could not get her to commit one way or the other.

She said she could not decide if she wanted to be in this relationship. I went and filed for a divorce and told her that she was RIGHT that it was unlikely that neither one of us were going to change (even though I don't believe that nor do I want a divorce). In the meantime she has asked to do more family things than I have imagined. I have just started to noticed a change in her but it's like she just started to take notice of me. She has been so self absorbed for months that any notice in my direction is front page news.

Stay positive, Stay happy. My W was goading me into arguments in the car today. I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel to the music the entire time she spewed. I never got to the DB line that "I am sorry you feel this way" but I deflected and got off topic in quick order not to be drawn into anything negative.

Be patient when they are angry. Keep telling yourself that your relationship with this person relies on you not showing weakness nor unattractiveness through any negativity. My W said I was acting giddy even after her spewing. Her demeanor also lightened up throughout the day. Perception is reality. Stay positive no matter what emotion they are giving you and keep the faith.