New to this Community seeking advice

[JR09]

Well, I made contact with W when I picked up the boys. Seems like she has overcome her fear of being near me. That's a big step. She didn't mind my being close while we chatted. She never talked about D. She just asked about my plans after I leave active duty this DEC. She didn't mention anything about money, financial support. Just really wanted to find out about my plans.

At first she said her car was not starting anymore. She wanted us to swap cars. I said I didn't want to because I needed to drive 600 miles back with the boys to come back to CO and be with the boys for 2 weeks. I told her she needed to ask her father or her brothers to fix her car. I said there was no money to buy another one. I stood my ground. Her brother showed up and actually fixed the car...

W and I chatted in the meantime about the boys, how she was doing, her school, health, etc. Very nice and very pleasant chat. No tension at all. I even joked a bit and she smiled at the joke. We talked about the boys and managed to laugh together about them. I thanked her brother for fixing her car, gave him and his wife a hug, and joked with them briefly while W was watching. Her brother was very friendly as we told some pleasantries. W also broke into a smile...

W made sure I got all her instructions correctly about giving the boys their medications. I deliberately took notes to show her I got everything down. Last time I was with the boys, I forgot to follow up S11 with his meds and missed a few days...which made W quite upset...

I then told W how proud I was of her for her schooling and for having the courage to break away from me when I was struggling with my PTSD anger. I told her I was really proud of her. I kinda got emotional and cried a bit. I looked at her and noticed she also got teary eyed as well.

Before the boys and I left, I told her she could come to lunch with us if she wanted to. I think she really wanted to but just said "no, just go, you need time with the boys. They were really expecting you for awhile". So we left.

All in all, I thought it was a positive encounter. No tension at all. W behaved exactly as if we were still married. Just concerned about not spending too much money.

Positive meeting. That's really what took place. I'm glad.

The boys and I are traveling back to CO. We are having a blast.

JR