New Game- Exposed

[MHL]

CD,
Sorry to be harsh on you up there but I soooo want you understand what it is you need to do next, I also want you to really try to wrap you head around the TIME element here and stop having expectations that your actions are going to yield results now. Even if she stopped her affair right now you would have a very long way to go. The beauty of the plan is that while she is destroying her life, you are making yours better……the thought here is that when she hits rock bottom and she will………….. you will be looking better than you have ever looked before. She will think, “what the h@ll was I thinking????”. This is why you need to look at this time as a gift from your wife.

You need to Detach from what she is doing. Detach, detach, detach……what does this really mean? It means accepting that you have absolutely no control over what she does, what she says, how she feels, or anything else for that matter. Once you get there you can stop focusing on it and it will stop disrupting your life.

What is the worst case scenario that could happen, go ahead think about, play out all the implications, ramifications and anything else…..great if the worst happens you have already expended the mental energy on how to deal with it, anything less is even less impactful and again you have already mentally dealt with it. No need to worry about it, right?

The other reason you need to detach is that in order for you work on You, you need to shed the anger, if you are constantly digging up new stuff on her you are going to constantly feed the anger monster. The anger will get in the way of the real changes that need to take place inside of you.

How is that list coming??? What are her marital complaints???? Not what you read in a book, not that the books we suggest reading are not good but really what would she say? The reason I ask this is because this gets to the heart of why she had the affair. She probably started out talking to this guy and he was willing to listen……what do you think they talked about???.........that’s right it was you. So…….what did she say in her words, it is not hard to imagine. The thing is some of them may be true, some of them may not…….doesn’t matter they are all true to her.

When you start to look at these things you can start to identify the “whys” and get to the heart of what makes CD tick.

This is key to making the changes real, not just “tricks” to get her back. When you make the changes part of who you are not only does your behavior change but the way you feel about things changes also. The work you are going to do now is going to benefit you and in turn make you a more attractive option for your W when the opportunity arises.

The books you are reading are great and I can suggest many more, do not get hung up on the fact that you are reading a book that is geared towards improving your marriage when you do not have the opportunity to put into practice the things that would have made your marriage better before this nightmare began. These books are good to gain insight into yourself as a man individually which will help you with your growth. You can come back to them later when the time is right.

Warning, as you discover things about yourself you will be tempted to say something to your W…….do not do this it will only push her further away and she will view any changes as an overt act to get her back.

Marching orders are protect yourself financially, physically and emotionally. Take care of yourself. Detach. Be the best Dad you can be for your daughter. Start to peel the onion. I also would suggest keeping a journal just to get your thoughts on paper it will help you later to see just how far you have come.

Take Care CD.