Another story of a WH and an LBS

[Babydoll]

And by the end, I realized that I trusted my instincts, and that it all worked out!! I recommend everyone doing the same!

Excellent advice!!! All of it is actually, but the last line is most important! Doesn't matter what the books say, each baby has different needs and likes! And each of us will have different parenting skills, and our little people will all turn out to be fabulous, mostly because we made them

I call my sister for advice all of the time! And she will tell me what worked for her and then say but that worked for me, doesn't mean it is best for your S.

So S wakes up every 2.5-3 hours during the day, sleeps really well, and at night wakes every 4-5.5 hours! So he eats 7 times a day and they suggest between 8-12 but docs say its perfectly fine since he gained weight and eats for approx. 30-35 minutes a feeding. They told me to make sure to wake him during the day, every 3 hours max, to fill his belly and teach him to eat more during the day and to build his supply. This hels them sleep more at night. So far so good!

Create a bedtime routine, yes even now, start trying. I Massage the baby with burts bees baby oil and its supposed to help relax their muscles and heps them fall into a deep sleep! S loves it!

When he does get a bath, again I do it at night to help S relax and they suggest it becomes part of a bedtime routine. It helps me so far!

I am no pro. And am only basing my experience onthe past 4 weeks and what works for me.
The boy likes to be swaddled, I'm now using Swaddle ME's. Helps them feel secure and sleep longer. But I have friends who's children hated them. I too have him in my room. The cradle is right by my bed, and the room gets natual light (not a lot but enough to know its day time) and pitch dartk at night. Says it helps them sleep!

So far, he's been on a schedule, but they say the 3-4 week mark is sometimes when they change! Fingers crossed!!!!!!!


Ok. That's all for now!

[newmama]

Create a bedtime routine, yes even now, start trying. I Massage the baby with burts bees baby oil and its supposed to help relax their muscles and heps them fall into a deep sleep! S loves it!

When he does get a bath, again I do it at night to help S relax and they suggest it becomes part of a bedtime routine. It helps me so far!

OH SO IMPORTANT! I totally left that out- S' bedtime routine since forever has been bath, bottle, books, bed....but he stopped taking a bottle a couple of months ago due to being full from dinner. And this routine has been soooo helpful!

So far, he's been on a schedule, but they say the 3-4 week mark is sometimes when they change! Fingers crossed!!!!!!!

S changed on me every 3-4 weeks, I swear! Until about 7-8 months...

[gatsby11]

Ha ha, NM, that's right about us both being teachers. And me trying to do everything the 'right' way. I like that instincts advice.

Yeah, BD, I'm trying to get a bedtime routine down! I like what yours sounded like.

So WH got back into town. I wanted him to come over tonight. It was 5 when his plane landed, and probably 6 when he will leave the airport. And yes, he should go home first (he just moved before he left), get settled, shower, hangout with his roommate. But i figure he can give us 20 minutes! So if he doesn't come over I will be disappointed.

He called to say he was in, and it was sort of awkward. It was good, he was happy, but he was like, "Well,I need to go home to shower. Haven't showered in days!" And I was like, "Oh, okay! See ya later."

So... yes. Disappointed I will be.

[gatsby11]

WH communicated with me about tonight, so it's all good.

He sent a text saying that he wanted to come over tonight, but since ihis place is in such disarray, he needs to work on it before he goes back to work tomorrow. He promised to come over tomorrow between 5:30-6. (Once again, I think he's promising too much!)

I wrote back "Sounds good. Thanks a lot for the text. : )"

Then he wrote back, "No problem. I'm excited to see you both. I wish I could come over tonight. : ("

I didn't write him back to that, mostly because I was busy with the baby.

But that's good enough. I wasn't disappointed.

thats all for now.................

[gatsby11]

Cupcake Wars is on-- love it!!! I'm obsessed with these cake shows now... bad thing to watch late at night, ha!

[Piano]

Hey G, so happy things are going smoothly with WH.

Can I ask, what is it that doesn't make you super angry with WH? Is it the no OW factor, or that Adjustment Disorder diagnosis...what helps you?

Thanks!!

[gatsby11]

Oh, P. I am wondering if I should be more angry!

The honest truth is I have a bad memory.

I struggle with being friendly because I want to show anger even though I don't feel it right now fully. And I guess I'll just do that in therapy.

My memory is so bad that shortly before the birth I forgot what it was like to be with WH. Completely forgot. And now I'm kind of forgetting what he was like in his most awful moments around bomb-time.

I probably developed this through having a BPD with narcissism mother. Really, I probably did!

In thinking more, I do think no OW, adjustment disorder AND the fact that he has been super super sweet since saying he wanted to go to therapy have helped. And there's still an air of mystery around "his side" of the story. I haven't heard it yet, so I can fill-in-the-blanks with things that don't make me mad.

That's what I think.

Phew, gotta go to bed! Except I'm going to check your thread, P, since you got on the boards.

[Piano]

Wish I had a bit of BFD! I know what you mean about forgetting things, even the most awful parts of the story...thanks for explaining that... It sounds almost like forgiveness? Good though you want to explore things in therapy - if you have a good therapist, it oould be really the best forum.

[Piano]

Just wanted to weigh in on the sleeping thing with bub. We are a little all over the place at the moment, and as I am not back at work until Feb, there is no major urgency to get her into a routine...well, having said that, I am getting a little worn out by interrupted sleep and comfort feeding.
Need to get the sleep, eat, play thing into swing.
We are oo-sleeping and I admit, I will miss her when she finally goes into her cot full-time, or another room!
And I never do 'cry it out'.. just haven't had the headspace to handle it. So she's a bit spoilt in that regard. Waiting for WH and MIL to leave so I can find a routine. So sick of people playing with baby every time she wakes up - she never gets a chance to resettle!

[LRT Land]

Gatsby - I grew up in a dysfunctional family. My H was guilty of emotional/verbal abuse in the early years. I think we (children of dysfunctional families) do tend to remember the good times.

What happens for me though is when some bad things happens, all the prior bad times sort of jump on board. Eventually this got to be too much which caused me to learn about boundaries, and that helped.

I also think it is human nature to focus on the good times. If you think of any past R you'll find you remember more of the good things.

But I do think forgiveness can play a role here. Forgive yours and your spouses contributions to those bad times - not for them, but for yourself. Then, it is easier to let go of those bad times altogether.