Alb: I am sorry to hear your situation but wish you well. One of the hardest lessons all of us had to learn was to let go of our spouses. We cannot control them, and we usually don't really understand what they are feeling either. They probably don't know either. We can see what they do, but then we drive ourselves crazy trying to figure out what it means. It's part of the stages we LBS go through, so some of that is inevitable.
However, the sooner you let that rope drop the better you will be. Read the threads, GAL, and learn about yourself as much as you can. This can be a wonderful time for you. That may sounds crazy given where you are, but so many people here have gone further down the road than where you are now, and they report back that they would not trade their journey for anything else, even as hard as it has been. I hope you are able to say that one day. In the meantime, take it one day at a time and keep us posted.
