I will recall what I can of last night before I even try to make sense of any of it.
After I got off here, I ordered pizza and watched TV. I guess I went to bed about midnight.
The phone rang at 3:11 a.m. It was J (Mr. A). I don't know why but exact times are really important to me...
J: Hey, what are you up to - besides sleeping? Me: Um, nothing. J: Have you got plans for tomorrow? Me: No... J: You don't have to be up early? Me: No, where are you? J: I'm at Ted's. I could be there in 20 minutes. Should I come over? Me: Uhhh... J: What's wrong? Me: Um, it's been kind of a hard week... J: Come on... Me: Uh, I dunno.... J: We wouldn't have to "git nazty" - I could just come over. Come on. I could be there in 20 minutes. Me: You sure? J: Yeah. Come on. Me: Uh, ok. J: Ok, see you soon.
30 minutes later I am sitting on the front porch and J pulls up. He parks the car in front of the house next door. (Note: Since we separated he seems to hate to park in the driveway. What's up with that? But I parked all askew when I got home yesterday (because I wasn't expecting any visitors!), so there was no room for him anyway!)
The phone rings again at 3:42 a.m.:
J: Are you gonna let me in? Me: I'm sitting outside! J: Oh, ok. Be right in.
So he comes in the door - hi, hi - and moves right in for the kill. I pushed him back. We're really close but not touching and he's trying to move in. I say, let's sit down. We go sit on the couch.
Read the book, "Getting Naked Again" and that should help with thinking about dating again.
I have been divorced for 3 months (xh left May 2009)so I've been 'solo' for a bit now and I like it. I think you need lots of time to learn to be alone again before you can begin to think about another relationship (just my opinion).
Where were you golfing? Can't get enough of that game.
Last edited by Golfgirl1; 08/02/1001:45 AM.
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
So I'm like, What did you do at Ted's? He says, You know, had some drinks, played chess.
This is remarkable. Ted is Mr. A's oldest friend and - far as I knew - they've been pretty much out of contact since we separated. More on that later. Right now I just want to write this down as I remember it.
So J and I are sitting on the couch and he does NOT want to talk - he wants to make out. I tell him I'm only going to second base tonight. He says, Second base, huh? Then he sticks his hand down my pants.
Ok, I said no editorializing in this recap, but I need to interject some history here. When Mr. A and I met, he was 18 years old. Even back then, he already had an alter-ego. I know that sounds really weird, but he would get in these moods and his friends would call him Jerry. So he'd be Mr. A sometimes and then sometimes he'd be Jerry. He not a split personality or anything; it's just a certain way of comporting himself that he does sometimes.
It was Jerry that first attracted me. Jerry's sense of bravado is outrageous. Jerry's ego crushes everything around him. In love and war, Jerry takes no prisoners.
So Jerry was back last night. He had gotten lost in the course of our relationship but he was definitely back last night.
This might get steamy, so please check out now if you're not in the mood to hear it!
I was insisting, Second Base, SECOND BASE! But physically I was into it.
Mr. A picks me up and moves me to the dining room table, where we proceed to get it on lightly. We could've stopped, I guess, BUT - then he says, I wanna go upstairs. Let's go upstairs.
It was a lost cause for me at that point. We went upstairs.
Mr. A and I have, um, LOTS of sexual chemistry - which is why it SUCKS so bad that we found ourselves in a sex-starved marriage. I don't know how we got there.
I was starting to reflect but I won't even try because the server will give out and erase my post! I warned you guys that I'm in the anger stage.
Mr. A and I ML and then he asked for a back tickle - his favorite post-coitus ritual. I obliged. Then I told him that I needed a big hug and so we spooned and fell asleep that way. Looking back, it was really wonderful...
I tried to say a few things about my personal life and he was not rejoining - though he did laugh and appreciate my anecdotes.
I woke up a few hours later and Mr. A was asleep but ready to go, if you know what I mean! So I woke him up in the best way possible.
After that he went downstairs to go to the bathroom. I asked him to get me some water and he did. He also let the DAMN dogs in from outside! I love my two dogs, but they've been a source of contention since he left. At one point he told me THEY were the reason he left! They were happily chillin' outside, but he let them back in. He's so confusing. He hates me and then he's nice to me. He hates the dogs and then he's nice to them - even though I'm NOT being nice to them and he has NO REASON TO BE THAT WAY! WTF???????
I couldn't get into a good sleep after that second round and so I was just kind of laying there and then I decided to get up. And I decided - AMAZINGLY! - to finally set a boundary with Mr. A.
I took a shower and got dressed as though I was going golfing. I cleaned up around the house, which I had let go to hell since Wednesday. Then my crazy dad called AGAIN - which must've woken Mr. A up. I got off the phone in like two seconds and then I hear, Hello?
I'm like, Hi! Good morning!
J: Come up here!
Me: I'm looking for the Sunfire title.
J: Stop it!
Two things: 1) When Mr. A doesn't like the direction a conversation is going, he'll just say, Stop it. This is not Jerry. Jerry never says Stop It to anything. But Mr. A says stop it all the time. 2) The Sunfire title was something we had to do as a result of our separation agreement. He has to sign our jointly-owned Pontiac Sunfire over to me. But anyway, I couldn't find the title.
Whoa, Mrs. A!!! Is OW out of the picture then? And yeah, how did you get into a sex starved marriage?
I don't have a 2x4 but am going to guess you feel confused right now? Is that right?
Whoa. Look what happened in 24 hours. What did your horoscope say, I wonder! lol!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
