So I have read the thread on the 50 signs of a possible EA/PA, the W is displaying about 2 of them, when before 3 years ago she displayed about 40 of them. I do not think there is anything going on, as I have said before she has turned into a recluse, work, kids and home that is it.
Before we left for the movie, I told her I wanted to stop at the book store. She asked what for? I said to look for a book(duh!) she asked what the book was for, I said for "me". She says your not going to tell me what the book is about? is it for your issues? I simply said with a big smile, it is a book that I would like to look at for my issues and how they affect us. She says so your looking at a relationship book, which includes me and your not going to tell me what it is? i said "nope" with a big smile, she smiled and laughed, which hasnt happened in a long time. She also said why havent you read the other books I have gotten us? I just shrugged my shoulders.
We had a good time at the movies, wore some new clothes(brother hand me downs) but hand me down true religion jeans are not too shabby since they are 300 bucks new! I know she noticed I was looking and acting healthy.
When we were about to leave I leaned back to help D buckle her seat belt and I got back in my seat and the W said you have a stretch mark on your side. I smiled and said "oh well". I thought it was funny as I am leaning back the W is staring down in the area of you know what as my shirt lifed up. Just let it be.
riving home she was kinda quiet, said she didnt want to go to her GF's house who is hosting a party for some new make a buck quick scheme. W said she would rather take a nap. I told her you said you would go you should go. She then "finally asked about the party last night" was waiting for that all day. I said it was fun, a pool party at some guys house in another town. She asked how much did you drink last night? I told her not a drop, which is the truth, and she didnt second guess me. So all in all it was a good day so far. W is going to pick up a pizza on her way home and we will hang out at the casa.
I did show patience at the movies which was a good thing as well. I get frustrated or used to get frustrated with myine and other kids at the theatre. But I was calm and held and laughed with my kids. W actually tried to get my attention throughout the movie on little stuff, which I acknowledged her with a smile.
it is a book that I would like to look at for my issues and how they affect us.
I personally feel like this is too much info.
Add "Eat, Pray, and Love" to your book buying list
It's an autobiographical story written by a 30 somthing woman who runs away from her marriage (I hear she had an affair in real life), then has a terrible rebound relationship (the affair in real life), and then spends a year trying to heal and be less shallow and only slighly less narcicistic, and then marries a brazilian man she meets in Bali who is 18 years older than her.
That's the goopy woman kind of stuff that wannabe runaway wifes lap up like honey.
It's a movie coming out soon starrying Julia Roberts too. Target demographic: Sex and the City gals.
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Do I have a point? Not really. I was putting the focus on me
Last edited by TimeHeals; 08/01/1011:15 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
It might have been a little 2 much info, but these tools and techniques are different for all of us. There is a time to use them in full force and also moderate at times to not be so cold or done. The W even made a comment to the kids that daddy is being strange and mysterious lately, it obviously has caught her interest and keeps her asking what I am doing. Isn't that the catnip, in a way?
I am going to chalk this one up as a good day. Tom could be the other way but if it is I will sdo my best to not let it get to me.
I'm actually not down. Feel pretty good today. I have noticed little things that has kept one of W's feet still in the door. If the changes I make aren't good enough, then they will be for me.
Funny your comment about balloon animals that's what the kids got at fudruckers yesterday. Once they hit the ground in the hot TX sun, POP!
It was fun while they lasted.
W and I have both been chipper today, I can tell she keeps wanting to ask me about "me" but she holds back. I will let her initiate any talks like that.
I'm actually not down. Feel pretty good today. I have noticed little things that has kept one of W's feet still in the door. If the changes I make aren't good enough, then they will be for me.
Funny your comment about balloon animals that's what the kids got at fudruckers yesterday. Once they hit the ground in the hot TX sun, POP!
It was fun while they lasted.
W and I have both been chipper today, I can tell she keeps wanting to ask me about "me" but she holds back. I will let her initiate any talks like that.
- as well you should let her initiate those talks, let her "pursue" you, let her ask questions about you, let her be interested.
Glad you had a good day, they do happen every now & then ;-)
W decided to come down and do work at the kitchen table while I watched tv, she asked me some questions, like what time do we normally get done with church on saturdays? I said around 8. She knows when we get done, probably waiting for me to ask if she is making plans for next saturday, but I didn't ask. I went back to watching a comedy show and laughed my ars off. She then packed her stuff and went upstairs didn't say another thing to me.
She is also going to work at our daycare, I guess she isn't making enough at her work so she is trying to make more moneyfor her. She couldn't do it when things were fine between us but now with the potential S or D now she takes the initiative, but again I have not said a word, letting her do her thing.
Not much to report, good night's sleep and need to get focused this week.
W left early with the kids to get things together for her job at the daycare. I am going to put a list of our expenses together so she can take a real ahrd look at what our bills are and what she will have to contribute, this will be one of the boundaries I set in place. She has 2 choices, to leave and go support herself, or stay separated in this house and pay for half the expenses.
Is it good enough for you for her to just remain as a "room mate" who shares half of the living expenses?
Is that something you're willing to settle for?
Just remember this isn't all about her, it's about you as well, what do you want? Obviously we have to keep expectations in check but be careful about settling for her staying as a room mate. As the saying goes, "...careful what you wish you for because you just might get it."
