Thank you for the reply. All very insightful. Reading what you wrote made me very scared too.
You are right. Logical thinking IS an engineers thing. H tells me that all the time.My dad was an engineer too, you'd think I 'd know how to communicate positively with H since I grew up with this type of person.
I agree with you- H thinks this is all my "fault", and his solution is for me to be gone. He told me when he dropped the bomb, that he doesn't want to talk about who did what, and discuss blame. H stated he wants to stay on a path that leads to splitting up.
I am doing the last resort, the 180. I am being calm, pleasant, not talking much, being positive, not being angry, not being emotional, being agreeable, etc. I am doing everything opposite from what I had been doing. I believe all this has H thinking, " we can split as friends". But, with that said, DB will help me keep it together, no matter the outcome.
I can see H has noticed the changes in me and is curious. H asked me if I wanted to make breakfast with him today. Usually we go our separate ways for meals in the house. In spite of a bit of softening on H's part, I am not allowing myself to get hopeful. I firmly believe H and I are done, in his eyes for sure. I am keeping an open mind.
H's daughter will be here over Christmas so H will surely want me gone before then unless a miracle happens.
H is putting together financial spreadsheets, etc. All very businesslike. No emotions that I see, but maybe underneath that aloof, cold exterior there are deep emotions. How do engineers deal with their emotions??
