Sad To Be Back 4 Years After The Bust

[BeingMe]

I just read my old post when I announced the divorce was over and I said I would stick around to helps others out. I didn't. If I did, I probably would not be typing this message now.

You wrote this last year, BTM. I am one of those who supposedly busted my divorce, and then continued on this board. Continuing to contribute here didn't helped my M. What would've help is if both of us were committed to building it up. My H wasn't, and so I have finally asked him for a S, to be followed by a D eventually.

You say your D was busted, but if your W was truly committed, she would not have left after a silly argument. She would've stayed. So, to me, it says a lot about what she has been thinking these last 5 years .... one more step out of line, and she was outta there. But, to just leave the kids, sounds utterly over the top. It must've been one doozy of an argument, but I don't believe it was just that. Something else has been brewing.

Try not to think about it as "giving in" or "she wins" ... yes, you may still love her, but that will end eventually and the lack of her company will become the norm. Think of this as an exciting new life, filled with endless possibilities. I finally, after 5 years of doing everything I could to save our M, realised that I no longer love my H. I have no hard feelings, just not into him anymore. He has rejected me so many times on so many levels, that I have finally been pushed over the edge where I doubt I will ever recover any semblance of romantic/marital love. I care about him, like him as a social partner, and we will always be attached as co-parents and grandparents. That's all. And, I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders ... I feel free for the first time in years. Try and get to this way of thinking.

Now that you have "given in" ... perhaps you and the kids can start really living.