Still trying to find my way

[Mystik]

You have some very good poitns, NewMama.

Then I felt so guilty and sad when I had fun without H and when I pictured a life without him. (like moving on meant I didn't really love him enough or something).

This. It feels like if I move on and let go I'll be saying I didn't love him as much as I said I did. So tie that in with my interpetations of moving on and letting go, makes it easier for me to understand why I'm having so much trouble with it.