Exactly! Drop that damn rope. I wish that there was a pill that we could take to make it happen sometimes! Stay strong and remember....what doesn't kill you , makes you stronger.
It's your danged ego getting in the way really. Takes a while to figure that out. You keep thinking they must have regrets, they must miss ME, they must..., and you keep confronting the fact that you are not the object of their attention much if ever. They are the object of their own attention: if they are missing anything, it's in the context of their own suffering, and that's just another reason to by angry or disappointed in you.
Once you finally figure out there is nothing you can do to change their mind, then whatever you do is not motivated by THEM. You see how it works. Their attention is focused on THEM, and so is yours... because you aren't getting what you wanted (same as them in a way: they are focused on THEM because they don't have/didn't get what THEY wanted or are pursuing what THEY want).
This is why you have to eventually return to taking care of yourself (and your family). You can't make THEM the center of your attention while THEY are the center of THEIR own attention. Let YOU (and your family) become the center of YOUR atttention.
Last edited by TimeHeals; 08/01/1002:34 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
