Almost a year after returning and almost 5 years after my first time here....and something small finally made me realize it's to give in, try to move on and set my wife free.
The water heater at my house is broken and won't be fixed for a few days since it's a long weekend here in Ontario. Yesterday, I called my stbx and asked if the kids and I could come to her apartment to shower today. She was cold, and very reluctant and when I asked if it would be awkward she said "yes". A month ago, she and I were in Mexico together, and now it's awkward for me to use her shower??
For some reason, that was the final thing for me. I suddenly realized just how far she has moved on. It's time for me stop trying to make a life with the one woman in the world, who wants a life with me so little, she was willing to walk out on her kids and her home.
This is still not what I want my life to be, and I admit it. But, I am finally ready to work at letting her go.
I will still smile and be polite etc at my daughter's birthday dinner tonight. Stbx is no longer coming over to help me watch D and her friends.
I am sad today, but at least I have finally given in.
