When his interactions and whereabouts and text messages (regardless how stupid) have little or no effect on you, you will be on your way....grasshopper. I agree with K and your bro (but I am sure that does not surprise you)....the question is when will you believe it? When will you believe that you are better off without him? When will his actions wash off you like the proverbial water on the duck? Now on the OW front, I feel for you but you can not pick his girlfriends for him because of the possible effect those choices may have on your kids....that is a hard pill to swallow.....I know. The route I have chosen to take is the high road.....one day the truth will come out .... it will not be from me......but kids are pretty smart and they will figure it out when they are much older. Don't burden them with this stuff at such a young age. Bottom line is you can not do anything about what Dan does (his choice of girlfriends, the pictures he takes etc)....so turn the other cheek....let it slide.....that is my usolicited 2 cents.
Why are so many other woman's names Stephanie?? That's ex's finance's name too. I have only met one Stephanie that I liked and she is my cousin. Thank goodness my parents decided to not name me after my dad because you guessed it...that would have been my name too! Blech!!
Have an awesome time. Dan isn't worth your thoughts. hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I am perplexed about the whole "lying" thing myself.
Been divorced now for five months and she still lies about almost everything. It's like she doesn't know how to tell the truth.
Everything is a lie. And there is no point too it. We are done and don't even communicate anymore yet she still lies about things to her Son, her family and her old friends etc. She has nothing to gain by doing it so I just don't get it.
If I said white she would say black. She is 55 year old woman who cant seem to ever get her stories straight. She seems like a selfish spoiled little brat in front of me but presents herself to her new divorce enabling friends as a strong independant woman that has all her $*it together. What a joke!
Me:48 W:55 M:22 T:23 Bomb:19Nov09 S:15Jan10 D:11Feb10 EA:Confirmed on 20Apr10 Fast track to her divorcing me
Wow. I really needed to read this about liars today. I have been divorced now for 4 months, and somehow I start to think my x has changed?? He still lies to everyone, and it seems to include even his new interest ex: X at my house with our son, while I am on the way home from work. I received a tx page from X apparently meant for the new interest, making excuses to her why he hasn't left my house yet, saying he didn't know where I was, he couldn't reach me on the phone when truth was he lieing to cover up fact that he was still at our house. I confronted him with the text page, and he lied and said it was to his sister who lives 1000 miles away ect., ect., One lie leads to the next lie, leads to the next lie.....I told him I was glad to know that he lied as much to others as he did to me. I know that he is a compulsive liar, he lies to his parents, to his friends, or he just doesn't talk about anything to anywone again though it is because he is hiding the truth. Why do I think this man will ever change?? Of course, I want him to change, turn around and be repentant, but the lieing is so ingrained in how he lives his life, that I don't think he can change. The man who wrote Regret Free Living has a wonderful radio show that I listen to, and has written many other books. Sounds like I need to read this book soon. Sorry for taking up so much time in your thread, and thank you for reminding me about liars.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I guess I am wondering since you (or anyone) knows he is lieing about mostly everything pertaining to the R or the old R, why would you expect anything different?
Not that it makes it right, but that's kinda how I expect my STBXW (named Stephanie, btw) to give to me, so it rolls in one ear and out the other. Nothing I can do about it.
Well I had written a super long reply on Friday but thanks to virus-ridden desktop it disappeared as I was submitting it.
At this point not sure most of that was worth saying anyway. (See the 24 hour rule applies to many things.)
Long story short, liars lie, because that's what they do. So no I should have expected nothing less. As my brother told me, I need to stop thinking/expecting that ex is operating with the same sense of honor/morals/decency/integrity that I am.
It's true. I know he is a cheat and a liar but somehow I found myself thinking--once I heard the kids say they met her, "He wouldn't go behind my back and introduce the kids to ow. He cc-ed me on his breakup letter to her last September! And told me in April he was not seeing anyone, and agreed to tell me if he started seeing someone that he wanted to introduce to the kids..."
I guess I thought he may lie about porn and strippers and crap but hey I would be ashamed of that crap, too. But I thought that actually involving the kids was just beyond the code of bad behavior. I should not have expected anything decent from the man who tanked our marriage...
*Just got back Thursday from awesome vacation with the kids in Chicago. A new adventure every day. Lots of sights, lots of walking. Nathan actually said one of his favorite parts was when we got back to the hotel each night, climbed in my bed together, and watched TV. Funny they each had their own bed (it was a family suite) but they slept with me every night!
They used their beds for jumping and playing wii.
*Spent tonight at Amazing Pizza Machine, buffet plus arcade type place, for Nathan's birthday party. His birthday is not until 8/25 but his cousins from Des Moines were in town so we took advantage of the timing.
Between vacation, the new car, and the computer I am feeling a little guilt/buyer's nerves/whatever. I am not used to spending that much money in such a short time. But I am almost debt-free except the house, and should be entirely debt-free other than the house in the next 3-6 months so I need to relax. Being able to pay off my new car in 6 months time is going to be awesome... Thank you Dave Ramsey for the motivation! On one hand I felt like I should shelve all of the settlement money for a rainy day, but then I realized that if I have no credit card debt or car loan, then I will all ready be pretty well prepared for that rainy day.
One more thing--hey I am allowed three posts since I haven't posted in almost a week!--
Got back and true to his word Dan had taken his tools out of the garage. But that was all. I texted him and asked what his plan was for his pool table and grandma's antique table that were in my basement. Told him I knew they were fragile and valuable and I would just hate to have to put them in storage... He replied he would pick them up within the week.
One thing, I did text him from Chicago. I saved it in draft mode for 24 hours, prayed on it, and decided to send it. I told him that the latest development (ow at the water park) had eroded any remaining trust or respect I had for him. That I had felt love and compassion for a lost, depressed, confused man but not for a manipulative liar.
Then I didn't contact him about anything else. The kids talked to him one night after that but not me.
Once we got back, I got a text at 12:40 AM from him. A picture message of a locust coming out of its shell. He addressed the pic to the kids so I did not reply.
Then in the morning I woke up to computer hell and spent the day at best buy. He texted me asking if kids had seen the playset. I replied an hour later that none of us had seen it bc we were out/busy. Got home and lo and behold he finally put the roof on after letting it sit for 2 years. He started the playset a month before hooking up with OW 3 years ago and never has completed it...seems he had better things to do with his free time
Now today he texted to ask when Sydney's soccer camp is this week, then wanting to know if kids could go swimming with his sis and her kids at some point in the next couple days...then texted tonight while we were at dinner to say that the boys baseball state championship game was on the radio. He quickly added, "I thought Nathan might like to know."
So I guess he has decided he can still chat if it is about the kids. Whatever. No desire to be buddies that is for sure.
He replied he would pick them up within the week. 
