Met female friend for lunch yesterday. She and I are in same boat with D. She isn't dealing with any types of affairs though but she was very empathetic towards my sitch. We talked for hours and finally went on our way.
I met some friends for dinner and when I got home W was gone again. She was supposed to watch our son but she dumped him off on MIL. She got home late and her car wasn't there so she must have had too much to drink and got dropped off at the house.
I was so angry that she just passed son off to MIL on her night to watch him. Shows me were her priorities are.
Drop the rope, drop the rope, drop the rope!!!!
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
Exactly! Drop that damn rope. I wish that there was a pill that we could take to make it happen sometimes! Stay strong and remember....what doesn't kill you , makes you stronger.
Atleast that is what I have been trying to tell myself lately. My Dad told me last night that God never puts more on your plate than you can handle. I told him that was BS, that I have had [censored] falling off of my plate since the bomb was dropped me!
Me:33 W: 31 M: 8 T: 13 S: 6 D: 8 months The Bomb 7/22/10 "I can't do this anymore, I'm done" http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2048765&page=1
Exactly! Drop that damn rope. I wish that there was a pill that we could take to make it happen sometimes! Stay strong and remember....what doesn't kill you , makes you stronger.
It's your danged ego getting in the way really. Takes a while to figure that out. You keep thinking they must have regrets, they must miss ME, they must..., and you keep confronting the fact that you are not the object of their attention much if ever. They are the object of their own attention: if they are missing anything, it's in the context of their own suffering, and that's just another reason to by angry or disappointed in you.
Once you finally figure out there is nothing you can do to change their mind, then whatever you do is not motivated by THEM. You see how it works. Their attention is focused on THEM, and so is yours... because you aren't getting what you wanted (same as them in a way: they are focused on THEM because they don't have/didn't get what THEY wanted or are pursuing what THEY want).
This is why you have to eventually return to taking care of yourself (and your family). You can't make THEM the center of your attention while THEY are the center of THEIR own attention. Let YOU (and your family) become the center of YOUR atttention.
Last edited by TimeHeals; 08/01/1002:34 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
I always get "roped" in when we start talking about him.
New experiement for you and STBXW: do what guys do best: talk about yourself. If it's about your S, it's really about YOUR S The world is now revolving around you.
Sooner or later you will return to being the center of your own universe anway, so you might as well experiment with it.
Don't do this on future dates though. Try to listen more than you talk on those.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
I finally got a closing date for Tuesday for the refi. My STBXW will go to her closing on Friday and she will move out next weekend. It's exciting to finally be able to start over. It's been really hard living under the same roof while she's dating. She just left and said she won't be home tonight.
I'm not sure why but it's not getting easier to hear that. I have plans to goto a B-day cookout tonight with my son. That will hopefully keep my mind off things.
I've been keeping in touch with my female friend who is going through her D. We periodically speak and keep each other up to speed on our sitch. Outside of that nothing much has happened. Just counting the days now!!!!!
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
Just got off the phone with W. She will be moving out next weekend and we are finalizing the list of what she'll be taking. It's a bitter/sweet feeling that I'll finally have the house to myself. My son leaving will be the hardest to deal with but I'll see him almost daily.
I'm hoping this gets easier. The thought of starting over is scary. I'm still not ready to date, just hearing my single friends talk about it doesn't excite me. Hopefully that will change when I don't have to see STBXW everyday.
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
Hang in there FFH. I feel for you and am pulling for you. You WILL survive this and life WILL be good again. You just have to accept that it will be different, but different can be good and maybe even better!!
