Thanks for posting to me this am. Sorry I am not up to date on your sitch, but I'll try to chime in from time to time.
Re intel, my W's OMW has a GPS on her H's car and has gathered some very good intel that way. Busted him a few times going where he wasn't supposed to be going.
I set up an internet account on my W's cellphone, which is how I busted her on the A.
Does she use a home computer? For $115 you can get eblaster software that tracks everything. I am using that, but I haven't gotten much with it lately.
Puppy put a voice activated recorded in his W's car so he could get at least on side of the conversation.
There are also recorders you can attach to a home phone line, but not sure if those are legal or not.
Good luck and hang tough man. Telling you on Father's day is just brutal dude. I got it a couple of weeks before, so we may be pretty close inthe timing of our sitch's. I'll try to read up on you when I have time.
Nothing except the phone call I mentioned in my other thread. One call, one slip up. Might not be enough proof to expose, but at least I know...
Had a great day. Got a lot of chores done after working out, chatted with a great friend who's life makes mine look like a piece of cake, then went over for the afternoon to hang out with some friends at their pool. Had an awesome dinner, barely mentioned my stbxw, and just felt like a normal guy. Called my daughters to wish them goodnight, and now I'm going to watch some Entourage, eat a slice of pizza, and have a cold one.
Church and a 2 mile run tomorrow will be the start of another great day.
Perhaps someday my wife will realize she's missing out on all of these!
While the wife is out, I've packed up all our framed marriage photos. I know that's not really a DB thing, and if it's like a Mortal Sin, I hope someone lets me know so I can draw devil's horns and tails on them instead.
Oh, and funny thing. At the gym last night, I was noticing how loose my wedding band was. Slid it off, and put it on my other hand for a sec. Didn't realize how tight it was til I tried to get it off. Now I kind of like it their, but I'm sure she'll think something about that too.
Tomorrow should be fun to see how detached I am when she returns.
Spent the last hour going through around 10K photos from the day we got married, til now. And in all of those photos (other than wedding and the first year before my oldest daughter's birth), not a single one of my wife smiling at me with sincere love. When she's photographed with our daughters, yeah, but not just her. So maybe she's right, she's always been miserable. That would explain so much of her behaviour.
pinhead - if she was miserable when you got married then her bad for not speaking up. I remember once dating someone I felt ho hum about and I saw someone's wedding pictures where they were looking at each other with the love you described, and I broke up with the guy I was dating that night.
Now it's always dangerous to guess what someone else is thinking - maybe she wasn't feeling good, was nervous, etc. - so what do photos from other occasions say to you?
On my wedding day I had trepidations, but you couldn't tell from the photos. We both look very happy.
He: WAH Me: LBW Precious: DD
~ I'm grateful for every day I have to improve the way I relate.
Often in these situations we dont see things how they really are until much later. people marry for several reasons and perhaps not reasons compatable with thier partner. I know people that have married for security and then fell in love.
In my marriage, we were in love, but did not have the maturity and selflessness to make it work. BUT, the love I had blinded me and I did not see all the warning signs.
Last edited by WalkingMan; 08/01/1003:19 PM.
Formerly SGfan M:38 W:33 M:8 yrs T:10 yrs Bomb: Dec '08 Separated: 4/18/09 Divorce: 8/28/09 XW Affair began: April 08
There are several photos I have of us together at events when we were dating, etc. She looks so happy. Beaming smile, just happy.
Then I look at all the other photos, and she's just cold. It's as if after a year of marriage, she realized it was a huge mistake, and was just gritting her teeth. Some of the pictures from the last two years make it look as if she's hating me. I know it's dangerous to try and read her mind. But you have to wonder.
And her current story is that "there's something missing, it's always been missing" so perhaps she actually being honest.
Time to just go dark, love my girls, love myself, and put my trust in the Lord to guide me on my journey.
At this point, I don't even care if there's an OM. It really doesn't affect what I need to do.
My daily prayer-
"Lord, give me the courage to keep my heart open to you and all those around me. Give me strength to carry my burdens with my head held high, faith to know that you'll never leave me, and love for my daughters and my wife."
Wife is driving back from her hometown (about 5 hours) and she's called 3x, left two voicemails. Then she called my sister to see if I was OK. So I called her, and was really casual, said I've been busy mowing the lawn etc.
Also had a talk with a friend who's known us for 13 years, and who works with my W. She says that there's no affair, just 3-4 women at work trying to lose weight, be independent etc. Like a group MLC...
I told her my W said she never really loved me, and this friend went nuts. Said that was complete bullshit, trying to justify her actions. That my W was crazy about me, but that she's also one who needs lots of attention. And that she's getting close to 40 (36) so it's natural to start questioning where she's going in her life.
