I looked through the Campbell book online and saw the "reactions based on my expectations". It's funny you brought that up because I had mentioned the same thing to a freind this afternoon whose D is dragging on 3 years.
Originally Posted By: Truegritter
Look your W had an A. She is behaving like an idiot. You have done a great job at all this stuff... You have. So Now how does it feel to walk away? You stood up for yourself and you didn't get what you wanted? What do you control?
I did what I could with DB. It wasn't perfect. But I did something. It didn't work. I control nothing. And I've hit the wall. No results. Feel crappy walking away but I have to protect myself and get my life back. This existence is even worse that the marriage.
Originally Posted By: Truegritter
Right now your choice to leave is based on a reaction from an expectation she didn't fulfill (coming back) That Is what I mean being a victim of bad behavior. Make the choice for YOU. You can only answer that by digging inside you... for what you believe.
I believe that a marriage-especially involving children and NOT involving physical abuse-is not something you quit. Worse still, betray through infidelity. Things not working? Get some help. After all that and still no hope, then maybe D is LAST option. But to decide to quit (after contemplating/going negative for 2 years!?) and putting in no REAL effort other than the same cheeseless, more of the same "complaints" and simultaneously distracting yourself from "your own issues" by hooking up with someone else is completely despicable.
So what do I believe? Marriage and my W should be fought for. I understand that she is heading for a world of disappointment and hurt. And she is dragging my D with her. I am a protector. I'm the oldest brother.
But that doesn't make me feel any better. My effort has done nothing. No one is better off than before.
I have a better personal understanding and attitude about what is happened; is happening and will happen.
