CALLING ALL CARS!!!!! I have a situation I'd like some help with.
I was going to W's mom to expose the A. I drove by and saw she was home. Poppedinto an alley to get an internet connection to get settled and look at my thread.
When I got back OM'S TRUCK WAS THERE!!!
So apparently, mom knows about this person. And they are having dinner together. Like F'ing family!?!?
So frustrated and betrayed....again.
I MUSTexpose to W's mom either tonight after dinner is over or tomorrow. And I want to call her boss again to expose the lies they are continuing to tell.
Anyone got a script for her mom I can use given they have been introduced? The "R" is in the open now.
Just shattered.
I just passed this news to OM's wife and she said "They'll move in together in no time. Idiots"
I told her "I need to inform her mom what is really happening and the REAL truth of this affair. She will obviously side with her D but as long as the truth is there and I was the source. Maybe, if it gors well, she'll at least look at OM differently. Parental instinc kick in.
But I need to end with "You will need all the strenght you can muster. All the lies and betrayal have pretty much left me barren of any hope for us. So I doubt I'll be around to help you clean up her mess when this affair crashes into a million pieces"
I keep thinking I'm at the bottom of the arc on this only to be kicked again. getting really tired of this. Can't even say I have any "care" left to say nothing of "love"
I doubt she is enabling. She is being lied to just like everybody else they know. All she has to go on is what she is told by W-one side of the story. I'm gonna suggest W and OM have "come out of the closet" since I exposed them at work/his parents. W may have brought it out before I could.
Here is what I delivered in person to MIL. And left a copy with her.
Originally Posted By: truegritter's letter to MIL
I wanted to write you a letter to let you know personally, and in my own words, that I am fighting for my marriage. I have told this to W and I don’t know what, if anything, she has shared with you. I know she very much respects your judgment and guidance which is why I feel the need to communicate directly to you.
I have learned from W that you have met the man with which she is having an affair. I also know from W you have shared his company several times.
I want you to know that I am deeply hurt by your being in the company with my wife and this man. I feel you enable her when you do this. I love your daughter, but I don't agree with what she is doing. If you continue to support their relationship, it will put distance between you and me, and I do regret that. I have always respected and loved you even when we have disagreed. I do not presume to know anything of your feelings on this only that you are aware of this relationship and have presumably condoned it according to what I have learned from W.
I consider this man a predator that is attacking our marriage. He is taking advantage of a vulnerable marriage and very emotionally vulnerable woman. He is a predator, not a romantic interest, and I regard him as such.
I am asking for your help in protecting my marriage and my wife. You can help by not enabling this relationship. You can help me by trying to convince her to give up the relationship and have no further contact with him. When that has happened, and not until then, I have proposed that we begin therapy together. I ask you to support me in this process.
I put a ring on my finger and said forever. I intend to keep that promise until she tells me she no longer wants this marriage.
I intend to protect my marriage with all my heart and determination. I am not asking you to get involved if you are uncomfortable. I am asking that you DO NOT support her affair by interacting with this man. If for whatever reason I have given you cause not to support me in this, I truly regret that. I hope that we can reconcile any reason for that. For now, I ask that you NOT support this man’s attack on my marriage.
Sincerely and with love,
Truegritter
I hope this helps CD. This was delivered several months ago(march) and really there was no consequence to it that I know of. However I believe it is good to stand up for what you believe.
Don't expect too much, in the end, it is her daughter and the prevailing philosophy tends toward the "whatever makes you happy" camp.
I guarantee she will not expect something this thought-out and thought provoking.
I crafted this from some threads I read way back then and I can't remember who's so if owe I someone a nickel...
I will tell you, you will need a bunch of what Christopher Reeve speaks of to do this.
But you will feel great after you do it.
Good luck...
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
After this, it's straight to D. Even I am running out of options. I am not seeing anything "working". A little "hope" would keep me going. All I get is nothing. Or worse.
I am so hurt by this.
I made a few edits. And a truth dart about the affair start date. Mom needs to know the truth.
After this, it's straight to D. Even I am running out of options. I am not seeing anything "working". A little "hope" would keep me going. All I get is nothing. Or worse.
Listen man.
D is up to YOU.
Hope is up to YOU.
Everything is up to YOU.
You control this mf@cker...
You are only a victim of someone's bad behavior
IF
You believe it to be true.
What do your vows mean to YOU?
What does your M mean to YOU?
F@ck her for now...
There is a greater thing to understand here my friend.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
So I delivered the letter and sat with her mom and CLH. After mostly his shock (he's not her dad) he said there was not much he could; should; or can do.
Mom settled for bromides. "You are a great dad. Kristin knows that" "It's a shame you couldn't be happy together. But you couldn't"
WTF?
Know what I learned today?
I want a divorce. From ALL of them. I can't believe the true character of these ostrich/people.
And I need to be as strong as humanly possible (physically/mentally/emotionally) in order to protect my D from this gene pool.
I would have an easier time taking my cheating wife back than accepting her friends and family into my life.
Sent and inquiry to Fairway Divorce and will contact the "recommended" mediator Tuesday.
Let's get the Sep Papers DONE so I can start my new life.
Sorry everyone, but I just don't believe she's coming back or that I'd be able to deal with her friends and family again. W has them all so snowed and they all appear to be born in Gullibleville, Ontario.
I have a whole new sense of "detachment" now.
If I need some kind of lumber, bring it on please.
After this, it's straight to D. Even I am running out of options. I am not seeing anything "working". A little "hope" would keep me going. All I get is nothing. Or worse.
Listen man.
D is up to YOU.
Hope is up to YOU.
Everything is up to YOU.
You control this mf@cker...
You are only a victim of someone's bad behavior
IF
You believe it to be true.
What do your vows mean to YOU?
What does your M mean to YOU?
F@ck her for now...
There is a greater thing to understand here my friend.
My vows and marriage I take seriously. I don't quit on things or people. I also don't take kindly to failure. Again, had I done something sooner. As always, the self-loathing gun is pointed at me.
So you are telling me I'm feeling "victimized"? What else should I call it? Seriously, I need your perspective. A poor judge of character?
And PLEASE tell me what the greater thing is here? I need something to make me understand.
