Just after Memorial Day - like 2 weeks into my "cleaning house" for Mr. A - I got an email from the Rec&Ed department. The beginners' golf league was starting that night! The advertisement was too tempting to ignore:
"Did you take lessons but never make it to the course? Are you worried about golf etiquette? Do you want to play with people who are as inexperienced as you are?"
I'm paraphrasing, but the ad was really appealing. I decided to go. I didn't have my clubs on me, but I went anyway. What I thought would be the finalization of our divorce was like three weeks and one day away at that point.
I called in advance and asked if Martin was teaching this league - no, it's somebody else. So I went there totally unprepared - no clubs, no balls, no tees, nothing. They rented me clubs and a pull cart and I went out on the course for the first real time in my life with nothing else.
Enter Slowburn - the nickname I use to refer IRL to my current golf teacher to the few people who actually know about this whole saga with Mr. A and beyond. On the couse, there were like 8 of us there to learn how to play golf, and he was the teacher. He earned that nickname for the simple reason that he's crazy hot!!!!!
We're talking the beginning of June now, and Mr. A bolted the April prior. In all those months, I had only felt one single solitary moment of spark for ANY man other than Mr. A. And that was super-brief and NOT pursue-able. It happened momentarily at the Detroit auto show but I was with my DAD and trying to get him not to totally hate on Mr. A (which he is MOST INCLINED TO DO), so I certainly didn't want to show interest in the super-hot guy who was selling me my t-shirt.... Alas. And also I thought maybe I only connected with that guy because he likes the same kind of cars as I do! We ARE in Detroit, after all...
In any event, I went to this beginner golf thing on June 1 and there I met Slowburn. Gentlemen, I know that's a completely obnoxious name to call him - but I'm just being honest here! That's my real nickname for him!!!
There was a super-cute guy working the front desk in the clubhouse, so I didn't even notice Slowburn until he introduced himself as the teacher and told me he would lend me his balls. Golf is so sexy-trashy!!!
That first evening on the course reawakened something that had been latent in me for a long time - my attraction to someone other than Mr. A! Slowburn was flirting voraciously and I really got into it. I even told my sister and my BGMF (best gay male friend) about it via text, which is how we came upon the Slowburn nickname.........
Whoa, Mrs. A!!! I am SO intrigued! Slowburn, to me (and maybe other females??) sounds sooo sexy! A good connotation!
Now again, I highly want to recommend "Getting Past your Breakup" that was recommended by donna (sorry that I am not using her whole username). I have been reading it today, having purchased it from ebooks.com, and am so thankful so I want to pass the word on. Especially to folks who were blindsided by their spouses leaving (like in the case of an affair!)
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I was high on life for a week - totally ignoring everything with Mr. A and just really relishing the fact that I was FINALLY attracted to someone else. I couldn't wait for the next time we'd meet!!!
Well, the next time was even more intense. It was the following Tuesday and it was raining. I was one week closer to my supposed D from Mr. A and I opted NOT to wear my wedding ring (even though you can't see it either way because I'm wearing a golf glove!). There were only four of us there altogether, so we ended up going out as one group and Slowburn was with us the whole time.
The chemistry was INSANE!!! Slowburn gave me 90% of the attention and he split the other 10% between the poor other three guys who were NOT getting their money's worth! It wasn't like being with Mr. A, but it actually gave me a glimpse into a future that wasn't completely miserable.
I crashed pretty quickly off that cloud when things got more intense with Mr. A and me as the supposed finalization approached.
I need to take a break from this for the rest of the night and then I'll write more about it tomorrow. I just got off the phone with my dad, who completely derailed me. I am SO SICK of all the bullshit that comes with real life. I'm enjoying my checkout time right now but I'm not thrilled about "reentering" on Monday. My father gave me a strong taste of that tonight. Grrrr.
Meantime, I won't keep you in suspense - things did NOT work out with Slowburn. Not even for a date. Ugh! I don't wanna be in this spot. Just laying low and recharging is crucial right now. I know you guys understand better than anyone.
Mrs. A----you are so smart! Yes, recharging and laying low IS critical! But here is what I take from your recent experience with Slowburn: You realize you are able to be attracted to other men and therefore, when you're ready, they are out there, waiting for you!
thanks for sharing and I want to hear more of your journey when you feel like posting.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Disembarking from the rollercoaster - I feel like throwing up.
The history of my relationship with golf is interrupted for breaking news: Mr. A and I ML last night.
UGH! It makes my head hurt to write it. I've been waiting all day to post here but dreading it at the same time. Not so much because of 2x4s (which I'd welcome!), but because I actually have to think about what happened and what happens next.
Let me start by saying this: it makes me really sad and frustrated that neither Mr. A nor I can seem to get our act together, even after D! We can't live with each other and can't live without.
