I haven't been on the BB a while so not fully up to date with your sitch. Sorry to hear you are getting nada in the bedroom at the moment from CJ.
I get the feeling you need to do a 180 here Shiny. I used to flounce around in sexy underwear and stuff for my H when I felt his drive was a bit low for my tastes and it did NOT work. In fact it put him off. He said he felt like I was kind of begging him to do it and it made him feel he didn't want to. Like he wanted to surprise me rather than me demand it. But conversely he is also quite lazy about getting stuff started, so that time with you and CJ where he suggested you make a move also sounded familiar. You weren't getting the encouragement you felt you needed but he was also being low key.
Forget the sexy clothes, this seems like a cheeseless tunnel. Maybe you should dress quite buttoned up, maybe prudishly - you know in a kind of unapproachable way (rather than just scruffy - LOL). Maybe he needs discouragement rather than encouragement. (Could be why an A was attractive to him - the off limits nature of what he was doing). Maybe if you get more confident you could almost tell him NOT to do anything (you know in a joky way) see if he plays along with the idea of not being allowed to? That it is naughty and you disapprove? As long as he understand that it is just a game, you never know it could work.
Next time he gives you any sign that you could go for it, then please just do it. Get those nagging doubts out of your head and go for it. ACT AS IF. I don't know if you remember one of my posts a while back where H and I had been in the mood but then one of us made a remark which turned the mood sour. Well to cut the story short, I decided to act as if, put on the sexy underwear anyway and went for it, it worked.
Another thing I sometimes do is give without wanting anything back (if you know what I mean). This has worked to kick start us back in the right direction again. A little frustrating for me but maybe if CJ is worried about performance knowing that he need do NOTHING and you want to do something for HIM. Especially if you tell him you have got all night and you are happy to be of service. This works wonders with my H. Sometimes he can be a little slow to y'know and I get a little bored. Soon as I tell him he can take all night (and sound like I mean it), whoopeee seconds later all done. It is about lifting the pressure.
Good luck Shiny. BTW, PIB the sexual peak for women as far as I can tell is from about 32 to who knows when (I am 42 and it is still here - LOL)
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
