In my heart to heart, I would tell him that I love him, that I wanted his influence in my life and the life of our baby, that I wanted to grow old with him.
I would then say that I believe since we have been together for such a long time from so young an age, that we didn't always grow together so well, and that I think a wake-up call was needed to make important changes so we could continue to thrive.
That I am sorry I didn't love him the way he needed to be loved and that I often took him for granted. That I didn't see the signs, or didn't want to see them. That we didn't communicate our problems effetively and didn't learn the skills to work through things together like a good team should. That we should have stayed in his country because I knew he needed it and was happier there, and me too.
That while I take the blame for my part, I am sorry he eventually went outside the marriage to solve his problems. I wish he could have turned to me in his time of crisis.
That I didn't have a child with him lightly, and that I wished he had given fatherhood and family life a go. That it would have been such a great thing to do together, as we intended.
That I am sorry he doesn't believe in working on things when the going gets tough...that I would have loved the opportunity to build a better marriage.
That's the sort of thing I want to say... I wouldn't know how to end it..because reality is, he is in love with another woman and is about to go live with her..
and I can't accept that...
so the next paragraph would be about how I have lost respect for him, that me and the baby deserve better & how irresponsible and selfish he has been...and that while I beleive in 'for better or worse' I cannot wait forever and am moving on...
But I've moralised, lectured and ranted till the cows come home, so I am NOT doing any more of that. Silence would be more effective.
