That is the answer I am seeking and not sure in which layer of the onion it lies. Any suggestions?
Originally Posted By: Quicksilver
Because we have done the preparation, we have soul-searched, we have faced down our demons, and we have stared utter despair in the face and chosen to rise to the occasion, we have found strength inside weakness, and we haven't run from our fears and insecurities.
Originally Posted By: truegritter
BUT
The game isn't over. You played the game because you wanted something. You wanted your M back You wanted to know why this happened. You wanted to prove to yourself that you are better than what has happened to you. Better than someone's choice about you. So what happens now? She is not coming back right now so... You wait until you are vindicated when it all blows up in her face? Is that the "win" you want? What is success for you here?
The best "poke in the eye question" I have seen in a long time. THIS is exactly the question I needed to ask myself. Perhaps the question above about her being happy and my reaction is "in" this question? THANK YOU for the way you wrote this. It is EXACTLY the question I need to answer. AND it would appear that:
1-Getting "the girl I married" back 2-Getting "the man I was when I got married" back 3-Building a "NEW" marriage that will allow my D to develop to her highest potential - is the definition of successs for me. This experience MUST make us BOTH smarter about R's or the new M will fail, too.
Now that I look at the answers, though I wrote them in the order they popped into my head, they are actually reversed in priority(interesting)
However, the ONLY thing I can actually do anything about DIRECTLY and with CERTAINTY is MY LIFE
Originally Posted By: Christopher Reeve
"To be truly free in life takes either tragedy or courage. To my children I certainly recommend the latter."
Originally Posted By: truegritter
We all have certainly experienced tragedy here. It is what we learn from it that is important.
And, to refer to the Reeve quote, this tragedy ALSO gives us the opporunity to find; summon; develop; and USE our COURAGE!!
