......... I was standing at the sink washing something and he brought the dog's water bowl in and so I grabbed it and looked in it and he kinda laughed it was bone dry but I was looking to see if it had "green stuff" as it gets that way...anyway, I started filling it figuring he'd go back outside but he stood right there in front of the sink with me (kinda uncomfortable cause he hasn't stood that close to me for months!) so we just had small talk while it filled with water and he took it back outside.
Was out on the other side of the house pulling weeds when he came back so I just stayed there...I figured if he wanted to talk to me, he'd find me but he just put everything away and left...that's ok!
CW, well done! I agree "no expectations" but it sounds as though you have had some positive interactions with H recently. Keep planting those seeds of doubt. Jody always said that HUMOR helps lower the WASs defenses and helps to bond people together. Early on the only way I was able to get a response from H was to send him silly little e-mails. Then H started sending ME silly little e-mails. What you described about your convo at the sink re: possible mold in the dog's dish reminded me of this. You can share inside jokes with H that OW can't because she doesn't have a history with H. Make H's visits to your house fun and interesting. You want to increase H's curiosity about you in a good way ("Who IS this woman?"). In my case, ping pong is becoming a stronger and stronger bond between XH and me. XH e-mailed me today saying that on the show Entourage last night, Drama (one of the characters) said "Ping pong is the new billiards" (it's kinda funny if you know the show's characters). XH said "We need to play ping pong again"........so that's the third invite in one week's time.
Thanks for the info about starting a new thread. I really appreciate it! Trying to get some things crossed off my list over the next few days. Hope to start the thread soon.
Thanks for all the positive vibes! I have talked with DB coach Cheryl and she thinks along those same lines as Jody. I only have 1 session left and ahven't used as there was so little contact between H and I there for awhile...I don't expect to hear from him now until next week..
Many of us are anxiously awaiting your thread!!! I love it that you and your H are playing ping pong! You can burn a lot more calories doing that than playing pool!!!
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I hope that the tone in my posts don't come off as "knowing" what will work for you or anyone else. Most of the time I'm just conveying info that Jody has told me in the past. Now that I have the perspective that 22 months post-bomb gives, I can add little examples from my sitch to illustrate the points I'm trying to pass on. ...........I lurked for a long time and always appreciated little nuggets when I saw them on the boards. I know that folks can't always afford DB coaching so I try to pass on some of the nuggets I gained from Jody for others.
Absolutely not! I sincerely appreciate your little nuggets! They are obviously working for you! An example of something that I had not thought of were the "threads" you talked about in an earlier post...
Hope you are having a good day too!!!
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I think it is so kind of you to pass on those little nuggets. I've often wished I could afford the telephone counseling, but there's just no way. You're sharing your wisdom with those of us unable to obtain it any other way. THANKS!
Well, nothing new to report about H but, I did talk with the local restaurant owner and I am going to start working there next weekend...hostessing and cocktailing and possible waitressing...she is ok with me working every other weekend when H has the kids!!! Didn't even have an interview...my boss at the salon does her hair and has helped out at the restaurant and put in a good word for me! It has been years since I have done this type of work so am nervous but looking forward to it! Will be nice, extra CASH money!!!
So, I can fix my clients hair by day and serve them drinks by night!!!!
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I sat down and made a list of projects I would like to accomplish around the house this winter. I have pretty much decided to stay here for now...will re-evaluate in the spring. Gotta keep that thread between H and the house alive for now anyway! Thanks GAG!
The extra money I make can go to help pay for those!
Feels like the right decision at this time and I feel like I have a little control back in MY life!!!!
Hope everyone has a great weekend!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
CW- YOU ROCK! Way to go...a little more money to yourself and a new place where you work is an avenue to make new friends!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I love it that you and your H are playing ping pong! You can burn a lot more calories doing that than playing pool!!!