I think the FT guideline is to wait at least six moths after the D is final before dating... And that dating before that point isn't going to turn out well as the relationship will be quickly contaminated with the aftermath of D...
And so clearly your wife cheating in secret before its final is just a mess on the horizon...
Think high school QS.. how many of THOSE work out well?
Think two delinquent cheaters in high school and ask yourself what was the success rate for them?
