I was trying to to be coy with my "might" comment. He answered my initial request. He didn't go into any details, but said if it was her idea for the uncontested divorce, that she would have to serve me papers first.
I think that might be hard and expensive seeing that I am in Iraq. He didn't mention any codes or legal mumbo jumbo. I asked him what his consultation fees were. I want to contact him on Monday.
I am really interested in what Puppy said about what are the norms thesed days. If me getting 50/50 physical custody is not out of the norm, I will be more than willing to make her wait if I can.
Again, thanks for the input, I feel myself gaining some confidence to fight again!
Me:33 W: 31 M: 8 T: 13 S: 6 D: 8 months The Bomb 7/22/10 "I can't do this anymore, I'm done" http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2048765&page=1
Well, it's the weekend, so I imagine that I will not hear back on my response to the Lawyer. No communication from the wife since our talk. I hope it stays that way. If I could only figure out when she works, I would just wait until then to call my son.
The hard part is not being able to see my daughter. Skype is my only option, and I really do not want to see the wife right now. I do not plan on communicating with her until she has told me that she went and saw a lawyer.
The more I have had time to think about this, all of the people who told me to slow down, that I do not have to make a decision now, are right. THANK YOU!
On another note, my wife and I have been living off of my paycheck for the most part for last year and some change. I know she can do that easily, ecspecially with me being gone. She is going back to work full time in about a week or so. Should I reduce the amount of money that I will be giving her? I just do not want to be an enabler during this process. Do not get wrong, I am not talking about taking away from kids, I just know what our budget is and do think it is quite right for her to be able to pocket her entire check is all.
Well, that is about it on my end. I went to the gym again last night and ran on the treadmill like I had a pack of wolves on my ass. It felt great! There might be something to this exercise thing!
Me:33 W: 31 M: 8 T: 13 S: 6 D: 8 months The Bomb 7/22/10 "I can't do this anymore, I'm done" http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2048765&page=1
She is going back to work full time in about a week or so. Should I reduce the amount of money that I will be giving her? I just do not want to be an enabler during this process.
G8,
You should have that on your list of questions you plan to ask your attorney.
No! I guess i better start making one. She just emailed me asking me if I have told my parents. When we talked she wanted me to give her a heads up when I did. My mom is worried about seeing the kids, so i guess I better let the W know that I told her......
God she sounds so cheery, like she is DBing me! Asking me how I'm doing, asking me what I want in my box she is sending, telling about the kids! How I am supposed to react to this?????
Last edited by GoG8trz; 07/31/1002:26 PM.
Me:33 W: 31 M: 8 T: 13 S: 6 D: 8 months The Bomb 7/22/10 "I can't do this anymore, I'm done" http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2048765&page=1
Well, I called the house to talk to my son. He normally answers, it's a new privelege for him, and he loves it! There is only three people who have it so the wife lets him.
The wife answered this time. Again, she was all happy sounding so I matched it. She asked me about my gym time last night. (must have saw it on facebook) So we talked about that, and she told me about a spin class she went to. I already knew about it (facebook) but played it off.
She asked about my box, and then wanted to know if I had told my parents. I told her that I sent my Mom and Sister an email explaining our situation. She wanted to know why I sent an email and didn't call. I reminded her that I only call to DSN numbers and that it was the weekend. And told her that I thought she wanted me to tell them sooner than later.
Then she wanted to know that I told them. I told her that that I told them that we were having issues and that she wanted a divorce. She got real quiet and just said huh. I asked if she was alright, and said that is the situation that we are in right now, and that I couldn't have said any other way.
I think that she didn't like me telling them that "she" wanted a divorce. I am not and will not shoulder any of the divorce blame in this situation. I will be accountable for my actions that put in the place she is in and no other. I will make it abundantly clear that I do not want this and am fighting to save it.
I talked to my son after that, and my allotted time expired. I was going to call back, but decided that it would be better to just let it end like that.
Thoughts?
Me:33 W: 31 M: 8 T: 13 S: 6 D: 8 months The Bomb 7/22/10 "I can't do this anymore, I'm done" http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2048765&page=1
I think that she didn't like me telling them that "she" wanted a divorce. I am not and will not shoulder any of the divorce blame in this situation. I will be accountable for my actions that put in the place she is in and no other. I will make it abundantly clear that I do not want this and am fighting to save it.
Why did you even tell her THAT much? I had already recommended to you, you do NOT owe her any answers here, nor anything that makes it easier/more comfortable for her. And then she has the nerve to ask you what FORM of communication you used to tell them???
I really wish you'd stop responding to her every request for info from you, and go dimmer.
You are right, and I know it. But what was I supposed to tell her when she asked me directly? I'm not good at being evasive. I need to work on that! She just sent me an email of our lawnmower from a new email account. She used her maiden name and current age...
It's almost like she is trying to goad me into something with that. I am turning the lights off for the next few days. Until I need to talk to my kid again atleast.
God this [censored] pisses me off! I want to respond with "nice email" so bad it's killing.
I will eventually catch on Puppy, I will listen to advice. It's just hard. This one has upset me, so I will be trying extra hard on this one. No phone calls, emails, ect until Wednesday!
Last edited by GoG8trz; 07/31/1003:33 PM.
Me:33 W: 31 M: 8 T: 13 S: 6 D: 8 months The Bomb 7/22/10 "I can't do this anymore, I'm done" http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2048765&page=1
Try to think of terms of being "active" or "PRO-active," rather than being "RE-active."
If you're responding to all of HER requests, questions, button-pushing, etc., then you are being REACTIVE. If you're ticking off YOUR to-do list, getting its items done, communicating the way YOU want to communicate (or not, as the case may be) . . . then you are being PROACTIVE.
"Reacdtive" is no way to go thru life in ANY event. But reacting to someone who is wayward is a recipe for disaster and frustration.
Alright, just got another email from the new "maiden name" account. We are still freaking married for crying out loud! She wants to divorce me fine, how about just do it with a little respect!
I can't even think straight right now! I know don't react, but damn it's hard.
Me:33 W: 31 M: 8 T: 13 S: 6 D: 8 months The Bomb 7/22/10 "I can't do this anymore, I'm done" http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2048765&page=1
