I tried, I changed, but still am getting divorced!

[newmama]

Oh good- I was going to be soooo embarassed about what I posted last night but no 2x4s! For the record, Rugby was NOT caressing me with my permission. I mean I sat next to him, he put his arm around me, and then he started touching me. Of course I moved his hand away; I didn't just sit there and allow it. (If he was ZOOBREW, my fling desire, I would have!!!!)

But I did recognize some traits in Rugby that I have, like I love to caress and "pet" my man, lol! So although I felt ZERO sparks last night, I will go out with him again...especially since it sounds like zoobrew is not interested so I won't be thinking of him while with Rugby.

HOWEVER. I have decided that the next time I, ahem, "knock boots" or "do the deed" I DO WANT FILET MIGNON! I realized I am not necessarily just wanting to get it on for the sake of getting it on. Since it has been so long, I want it to be WORTH it! I want chemistry and passion, you know?

btw Had a fantastic day with S, and my sisters at the beach!! Lots of fun, careless spending...it was all worth it! And we even
ATE PIZZA IN THE CAR on the way home! Something that stbxh would NEVER consider...yes, my car is messy and sticky. So what- I will clean it. I am enjoying some freedoms of being single that include not needing to worry about my spouse's feelings...I can be selfish! (well if S is taken care of and happy! He does come first!)