Well, I just got off the phone with the new MC for a screening and she seems optimistic. She says she deals with this quite frequently and has a plan that could get things back on track. I asked her what that plan involved, and she said it was based on me inviting her back into the relationship, and most of the work was on my part and it would be hard. Patience being key. I believe it after DB. What sucks the most is that I struggle with ADD and patience is very very very very hard for me
So, the new MC was more encouraging than the old one. She said she wished our situation was more uncommon than it was, but unfortunately it happens alot. We're planning on going to see her after W gets back from MIL.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
Well she called me at lunch just now and asked how I was doing. We chit-chatted about 5 minutes and i told her I needed to go so I could eat lunch.
Better: " . . . needed to go, as I had a really busy day and was already late for an appointment."
Quote:
I then told her I was going out tonight. She asked with who, I told her my friend Eddie and a bunch of his friends are going downtown and I didn't know when I'd be back.
Better: " . . . I told her 'Just a bunch of people, we're going downtown and I don't know when I'll be back."
Well, I just got off the phone with the new MC for a screening and she seems optimistic. She says she deals with this quite frequently and has a plan that could get things back on track. I asked her what that plan involved,and she said it was based on me inviting her back into the relationship, and most of the work was on my part and it would be hard.
Up until now the pursuing has been very productive
Did you let the MC know about the multiple EAs, her verbal abuse, she hits you and has threatened to hurt herself?
You already got your answer to inviting her back into your marriage, talking, words, saying things the right way aren't the answer.
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I immidiately suggested MC. She said no at first, but after a few days said OK - but I'm only going for you, not for me. That was good enough for me. MC at first was terrible, we only blamed each other and got angry, she just kept saying "I don't want to be with you, I don't want to be in the same house, I want to move out with my Aunt".
Is this still good enough for you? Do what works.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Did you let the MC know about the multiple EAs, her verbal abuse, she hits you and has threatened to hurt herself? Yes. I spelled it all out in an email, except for the hurting herself part. I sent it to the MC days ago before I called her to play "catch-up" on our situation.She had read over it when I called.
Is this still good enough for you? Do what works. Definitely. Even though it hasn't been super productive, I think that's because we had a bad MC. She's never said that she won't go, or doesn't want to continue going. I think some part of her really truly wants to try hard, but she's afraid to admit it.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
Well she called me at lunch just now and asked how I was doing. We chit-chatted about 5 minutes and i told her I needed to go so I could eat lunch.
Better: " . . . needed to go, as I had a really busy day and was already late for an appointment."
Quote:
I then told her I was going out tonight. She asked with who, I told her my friend Eddie and a bunch of his friends are going downtown and I didn't know when I'd be back.
Better: " . . . I told her 'Just a bunch of people, we're going downtown and I don't know when I'll be back."
Thanks Puppy - but I'll ask again... is mystery good when she's agreed to transparency ?
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
Well, she just called and I let it ring out. I just couldn't answer it. And to be honest, I don't think I'm going to call her back tonight... I think we both need some space. Here's to being STRONG and NOT CALLING HER TONIGHT.
Unless of course, she starts blowing up my phone - then maybe I will....
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
