A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

HI, all,

Short update - I am somewhere in the neighborhood of 1 yr from onset of DB. We are together and building our future. Kidlet is doing well. We still have our struggles sometimes, mostly in the area of love languages. When I don't get QT my LL), the ensuing emotional distance means I don't feel much like initiating PT (his). It's not a deliberate tit-for-tat thing. It's more an unconscious defense mechanism.

The difference is, when stuff like this comes up, I have lots and lots of skills to throw at it, namely GAL.

DH has trouble saying no to social engagements. He's afraid of hurting people's feelings by not going to whatever they invite him to do. The end result is that he feels over-committed, over-stimulated and grumpy because he doesn't have enough time for his own headspace and/or personal pursuits. And, of course, kidlet and I start feeling neglected and unimportant.

Here's a tip - GAL works VERY well. The minute I up and schedule something that takes me out of the house and makes me not immediately available to him, he's suddenly more interested in being around me.

So, the bumps we're working through are not by any means marriage-ending. They are, however, remnants of the same issues that *were* marriage ending before. What's different is how we handle them.

Ok - off to surf sitches and catch up with folks!

Cheers,

Dia