So I came home. W started talking about me lying, and the fact she believes 1% of what comes out of my mouth. She says over the last 7 years I dont know what has been the truth and what hasnt been.
I agreed with her, told her that I understand why she cant believe me right now. I said I need to work on issues, and that after lying to her about her journal, I really felt horrible and had to come clean. She then asked me again what I thought I would find? I told her I have apologized for that, curiousity got the best of me, and lets leave it at that.
I made a comment about how much time I have devoted to my company that I recently left, with no reward. She made reference to our M in the same way, she keeps wanting to stick it out to see a change, but loses hope.
I told her I have made a lot of mistakes, and that I know they have hurt her. She asked me if she was the only one I lie to? I told her no. She asked me if I can remember other things I have lied to her in the past about. As much as my answer hurt to say, I told her that I cant remember what has been truthful and not truthful in the past.
She then got her stuff, going to the store and asked what I needed. Told her I need healthy stuff since my bloodwork came back and my cholesterol levels are elevated.
I feel she is still here because she wants to see the changes in me. So if I want this bad enough I need to work harder than I have been working.
