Wife filed for divorce...Is there still hope?

[pinhead]

I used to be a big history buff; learned more about war and conflict than I ever thought possible. Was pretty cynical about human nature, and lost a lot of my faith when my niece was murdered in 2005. Yet every day when I come to this forum, with my heart feeling heavy, I appreciate the compassion I see from so many people.

LSG- you can do this. You're tough enough. You're a loving father. God loves us, and wants us to be happy. He will never give you more than you can carry; though you may not realize your own strength.

[LSG]

TH,

That must have been a very beautiful sight for you to witness. I am imagining it at this very moment.

I am saying a prayer for you right now.

[LSG]

PH,

I feel the same way about this sight. That is why I am here so often. I am here for myself, but I also hope to help others in some small way.

I hope that you are right. I have to believe that I will be able to handle anything that comes my way.

Best wishes to you.

[dday101798]

I am here for myself, but I also hope to help others in some small way.

The irony in that, is the more you help others, the revelations and insight you'll develope of your situation.

[TimeHeals]

The irony in that, is the more you help others, the revelations and insight you'll develope of your situation

Yeah, there's nothing like watching others mistakingly bang their heads against the same or similiar danged walls you banged your head on for months and months to have those "Doh!" moments.

[pinhead]

Diagnosing your own relationship is so hard; I find it much easier to see into other people's sitchs. And in a way, that makes me feel like I'm making progress.

[LSG]

W and I were talking about our mediation and hearing appointments coming up. We only have one car, and she did not want to go together. She said she would feel uncomfortable. She told me I should walk there because it is not too far away. I told her is she wants to walk, but I am going in the car. I said it was my car too. she said technically it was, but since she makes the payments, it is hers.

Part of me says she right while part of me disagrees. It has been making me sick to my stomach about what I should feel or believe. This is part of the reason the losing out on the job hit me so hard. I need a job, and I do want to be dependent on anyone for anything every again. Once I start working, I never want to be out of work for any reason again. I just want my life and some dignity back. I do not eat much at home if anything when she is around. I have been made to feel that everything is hers. I am rambling.

I have to try to feel that I am not a "parasite" when she has told me that I am and that I will try to be a parasite off of the kids if I get spousal and child support. She thinks if I go for custody of them that that is what I will being doing.

I need a job, I need a job, I need a job so bad.

Anyways, I just needed to get it out of my system, so maybe I will not have a sinking, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach anymore today.

[LSG]

Journaling (July 30, 2010):

Wife went out for some get together last night, July 29, 2010.

I went to bed at 10:30 pm and she came home sometime after that. She has some going away party tonight she says, and she will home late again. This is the third Friday in a row to be gone. She did ask "How are you" last night for the first time in months. She also apologized for being gone to tonight and almost bumping into me today. Her attitude is more soft lately. I am not sure if it is a good sign or not. She is calling the kids more, and she wants to attend something with me this Sunday. I do not know if she is doing this for the divorce or not just to look good. That is what I feel at the moment.

She is gone more and more.

I felt sick to my stomach today from everything. I feel that I have been more stressed the last two day.

[LSG]

I think she is getting to me on so many levels lately. I feel that I have regressed and lost my strength some.

[Chuck66]

That's when you need to step back, take a deep breath and re-group. Get away from thinking about this even for just a little while! Go watch "Dirty Jobs" on TV. Go outside for a walk... Distract yourself for a little while just to give your body/stress a recess.

I went to the park the other day and played on the swings. I am 44 years old. I was nauseous immediately. As a kid I could spin in a swing with my eyes closed no problems.

Find something to take your mind off of it. Make a Dagwood sandwich!

The roller coaster has ups and downs. When you are on a downward cycle lift your head up to see the next rise coming.