If you did it at once - the Intel would be applied nearly simultaneously. Imagine one big explosion.
If it was in stages, youd split it up, IE:
1. 08/4/2010 - Apply Intel to get OM #2 going after OM #4 2. 08/6/2010 - OM #4 Wife/GF gets her phone call and intel applied 3. 08/10/2010 - OM #2 Wife gets intel applied, Wifes job gets the Puppy letter 4. 08/12/2010 - Police get a notification of a weed smoker or what appears to be public intoxication on wife, to get their eyes on her 5. 08/13/2010 OM #1 is directed against OM #4 6. 08/15/2010 Intel to Wifes mom, showing nudity on internet and some carefully highlighted chat portions 7. 08/20/2010 GF #2 is given info from OM #4 about wife bad talking her 8. 08/21/2010 -
You know. Theres so many ways you can go with all this information, and what I believe you should do is to wake her up harshly.
She should get into some trouble, and people mad at her. Oh, and some of "her game busted".
QS is there any vendictiveness involved here? Your initial argument was simply that you wanted to keep "in the know" so to speak to ensure she didn't plot against you and the house... This is looking like something else entirely now..
Not judging, I just want you to be fully commiteed to the consequences before you make your choices...
If you get caught being vendictive then all your work to appear like the mature adult during your divorce is out the window... if you are ok with that I understand... I just am seeing you taking some daring steps above.. or maybe its just DLS.. I dunno
It would take ENORMOUS planning, but I am ALWAYS GAME for well-executed, high-powered strikes.
This would be like a Brigade-level operation, sort of like "Operation Phantom Fury" in Iraq during the counterinsurgency.
So this is sort of like "counterinfidelity".
I will read General Petraus' strategy manual again, and apply some of the principles to my formulated plan.
"Operation Hell-Rain" is now under way....
My idea relied upon strategic applications of pressure, cutting off avenues and mis-direction. After thinking about it, it seemed applications of pressure from different sources is useful. IE: how I start the pressure on OM#4, and some more a couple days later.
Some of this would get back to the wife, as she is the "trouble starter" in all of this.
The entire thing should last long enough to be a complete wake-up call for nearly anyone.
The weed-call or public drinking call might not get her caught, but would be getting her looked at.
Oh, you could be mad at her too for a month or two and open your doors if you would like later. Maybe you let her do a little more running to get her "oats sowed" or whatever the hell she is doing, so after she gets her series of 2x4's - she will feel as she had her fill and be able to let that life go and come home.
I dunno. I had been thinking about this when reading your sitch for so long, because you had soo much information on many different people.
Its amazing at how quickly your wife accelerated and got around.
Wife gets home and tells me she is moving out August 15th. Caught me by big surprise and I freaking BLEW my FIRST reaction.
#$%^##$#$. #$#$%$%$%$%#> FREAK.
Then she starts in on me about responding to the divorce complaint. She was ALL SMILES even though I knew that she was REALLY upset about it the other day.
Man she is one MEAN poker player. And I just blew this round. I just didn't expect that coming AT ALL.
And man was she excited to talk to her mom about moving out.
She also thinks I am bluffing about not selling the house.
She isn't just going to cancel the utilities, she is going to TRANSFER them to her new place and then make me setup NEW accounts in my name.
I had a chance to really show her how much I don't care and my stupid a$$ FIRST reaction screws the whole thing up. THOUGH, I did PROMPTLY leave the house in the middle of one of her sentences. Saying "Sorry, I am REALLY late and I gotta jet".
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
If nobody knew any better I think most people would quickly say SHE is the one pining and can't let go... Her erratic and hostile behaviour is a dead give away dude...
I missed this post earlier.
Well most of the LAST times I have talked to her she has been up and down, very angry ect.
BUT TODAY, she was SMUG AND LAUGHING. Anything I said, she just responded with smug laughter, like she KNEW SOMETHING I DIDN'T.
It was obvious she was playing poker, but there was at least a little genuine confidence in there.
All in all she ENJOYED having a 1-up on me. But it was her SMUGNESS and NOT anger that threw me for a loop. She just politely agreed with me about things, and muttered stuff under her breath.
Then she was VERY happy in the conversation with her mom, and ENJOYED trashing me and making fun of me.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
Wife gets home and tells me she is moving out August 15th. Caught me by big surprise and I freaking BLEW my FIRST reaction.
#$%^##$#$. #$#$%$%$%$%#> FREAK.
Hey, it happens - no matter how much you plan and sleuth, you can still be blindsided.
I know this is your life and it's not a lot of fun for you right now, but I have to confess that I'm REALLY liking this new and improved, take-charge, advice-dispensing, action-taking QS you've suddenly morphed into this last week. Watching you plan and collect data is fascinating - not to mention TOTALLY hot! It's like watching a non-formula action movie that I can't guess the ending to! I'm thinking you've got a Jason Bourne-like script (or 3) in you based on your intel gathering and military knowledge.
Does your wife even KNOW this QS?
Because -dude!- if she did, the ONLY way she'd be running around on you is if she had a lobotomy! Seriously! I can think of AT LEAST 100 women I know who would be totally hooked on your IT know-how and military knowledge alone. And remember, I have no idea what you look like.
Originally Posted By: Quicksilver264
I will read General Petraus' strategy manual again
...roughly translated means "Hand me my smelling salts - STAT!" in female.
Women ADORE take-charge guys. We like our space, we like handling our own money and making our own decisions, but at the end of the day, we'll serve you as the king in your castle IF you PROVE you're a leader worth following. Be firm, consistent, strong, and fair, and we'll follow you ANYWHERE. Lie, play tricks or roll over and play dead, and we are SO outta there. We want a man who will guard the castle gate and protect us on his own initiative, not another nose to wipe or kid to pick up after.
That said, I'm thinking FB guy #5 should be James Bond-like - CIA or FBI or military intelligence or something, a totally stressed out spy guy who's just looking for some down time with a pretty girl. Roll your eyes all you like, but you'll be able to EASILY reel her in with mystery and intrigue. Give her a glimpse into a life she only sees in the movies and every other guy she's working right now will drop off her radar ASAP. Hell, she'll even go to work and think about you all day. I know I would!
Uh-oh..."trade secrets" as Allen would call them, glimpses into the female mind. But you could save this situation yet.
Your WAW thinks she leaving a highly emotional, pushover doormat. Show her a leader and military stud and she'll be regreting that year-long lease in a heartbeat. Plan to meet her at some clandestine location...and you could both save your marriage AND have the best makeup sex EVER!
Be a take-charge leader, QS. It's what your mixed up, WAW needs right now (IMHO).
AND, she also got the phone # of guy #3 that she is moving in with, and she's already started the flirting texting phase with him. I wonder if she is going to have phone sex with guy #4 while living with guy #3.
Oh and she gave me a "cute" little name in her phone contacts, referring to just how wrong I am and have been for her.
She's going to be here for the next 2 weeks, and then she moves out. She has also hired a process server to re-serve me with the papers since I haven't responded to the complaint. She's definitely all giddy about having me served at work.
But yet she views my Facebook profile daily, and always talks to her mom about me, usually making fun of me.
AND, when talking to her mom she mentioned she had a dream that she ran into a some girl I was dating and she said "I was TOTALLY OK with it all. I just didn't care!!"
Everyone was completely right when they said this was going to be a rollercoaster. For some reason today, I can't shake the bad feelings of yesterdays interaction. I had a really good week, but I got rattled yesterday evening.
The more "fixes" she gets, the more horribly she treats me.
Last edited by Quicksilver264; 07/31/1002:36 PM.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
