21 years of marriage hanging by a thread

[Chuck66]

Here is an innovative person who used an extreme DB strategy. She is very inspirational. I took a cue from her and tried some things today.

www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=37;t=014880;p=1


I normally wake up after my wife and get the kids ready, clothes, teeth, beds made, small breakfast, tv and then the kids kiss me goodbye as W leaves for work.

My 180 was to get up 15 mins before her. Shower before her.

Told her I had things to do in town and put boxers on instead of briefs (180...I only own 2 boxers).

I changed my shirt 3 times and she made a comment but I said the 1st one was too big and the 2nd one was too long.

I shaved.

Wife noticed I was dark with a slight sunburn. I had nagged her about tanning both at home and salons at the same time (my sister died of cancer). My 180 is that I am a stay at home dad and have lots of access to the sun. So I started tanning in our backyard. 4 days this week, last day a little too long and got burnt. But I told W when I took the kids swimming yesterday I must have got to much sun.

I have dark blonde hair so I had it lightened days ago. I told the lady who did it to make it natural. By the time my W asked if I had done something to my hair I had to tell her it was days ago which was true.

I got out the cologne I used to wear to work everyday two years ago. My W never liked the smell of it. I waited until she left the bathroom then gave a quirt of it on me. So it looked like I was trying to be sly when I know she always mentioned she could smell it before.

I still made our bed, the kids bed, and got them ready in no time at all. She asked if I was leaving "right now?" and I said in a little bit. She asked "where to" and I said I had errands to run.

She initiated that she was in our email sent file and saw that I had asked days ago about her extra email account that she set up for work. I told her I knew it was for the job ads she had placed in the paper to hire new people. She asked if my snitch at her work told her and I said no you did awhile back , I just forgot. I went down to kiss the kids goodbye but before I left I said to her, and I have to get my bike that I left in town yesterday too. And closed the door so she couldn't ask any questions. I had taken my bike in for a tune up. I just went to Starbucks, but it was the impression that I was excited to go somewhere and that my bike may be at someone's house.

Dropped of the D paperwork with my L and found out my wife DID NOT FILE! Her L did a courtesy call to my L just saying not to serve any papers with the Sheriff. My L fudged and I was not happy about it. He is trigger happy aggressive!

My snitch says W was in a big hissy-fit when she arrived to work this morning and had a closed door meeting with her boss. She also told my snitch that she could not go home early since my W had a hair appointment. This is the same W that left the house at 7 am yesterday and did not get home until 8:30 pm (and went to work at 8pm-11pm on Sat nite) because she is SO busy. She got to see her kids 30 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes last night.

I did have a guy friend come over to the house on Wed. I never EVER have anyone over. You would have thought I touched a hot red poker to her. She was mad. She even questioned who he was to him. He said he was in my class for 7 years. W said I KNOW everyone in his Senior class and don't remember your name. He said from 5th-11th grade we were in the same class and he moved to another school his senior year (all true). She stormed off.

And I got a nasty email from W's father saying I was trying to get him to turn against his daughter and how gullible I am. I just said I was hurting, needed some compassion and was trusting not gullible and I picked the wrong person to vent to.

Another day in the life...