My wife SWORE I had all the house phones bugged. Why? Because I knew she was calling jewelry stores, and trying to hock some of her jewelry to pay for her legal fees.
I assured her that I absolutely did NOT bug our house phones (I hid a voice-activated recorder in her CAR, but hey -- she never asked me 'bout that ).
"HOW ELSE WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT THOSE PHONE CALLS?!" she practically SCREAMED at me.
"If you'd calm the hell down, I'd tell you that because we have Comcast Digital Voice, I can see ALL of the incoming and outgoing phone calls, but then again I guess that doesn't make quite as dramatic a story, does it."
I hated to reveal a source of my intel, but she was just being SO ridiculous, that I did.
Very typical for waywards to be paranoid. You can, in fact, use their paranoia against them in some ways.
I think it's guilt that causes them to become paranoid and to blame the LBS. In all the threads I've read in the last 2 months, I've found that almost all the LBS initially believe they're at fault, even in the most obvious cases of WAS infidelity.
And I agree that it's about distancing. And trust is something that the WAS has broken, so naturally they don't trust the LBS, regardless of years of history.
Yes, it is very frustrating, and I may find that it works against me, I use that frustration to fuel my drive to detatch. I can't understand what she is doing and she remembers EVERY thing differently and I'm even talking about things she has done in the last few days that she 'remembers" differently than I and a few times my son has even been present when this happens (not D talk) and confirms my understanding of what took place.
CB may not be an offical abbreviation but I saw it somewhere - Crappy Behavior
Well tomorrow is supposed to be the day W files. There was no D talk today. Last night we discussed the assests but did not actually list them out so I don't know if she will file yet or not. She seemed really happy today and even called me "just because", no real reason that I could discern during the call. Tonight we had to discuss S16 behavior and I looked deep into her eyes. She didn't turn away from me tonight like she has been. It's like she's almost normal. She did mention that she had scheduled an appt with the MC, but offered no further details.
She continues to wear her rings.
She wore a new dress to work today (I had to leave EARLY so I didn't see it until tonight). After we discussed son, I told her she looked really nice in her new dress. She said thank you ans smiled.
venting: Looking for a job is no going well. I've been out so long that no one will look psat the resume. I even spent an hour on the phone with a good friend that is a headhunter going over it and came away feeling worse then I had been.
While I've accepted the inevitable, I am having a hard time today with all the forced changes in my life all at once.
W just called to let me know she was leaving the L office and completed the filing.....
I have to say I was curious as to her better mood, guess it was just elation that she was finally going to file the papers and get out. She has actually called me for what I would consider minor things today and sounded like her old self. Bits of hope started to creep in. In fact I was really wondering if she would today or not. We did not talk at all about it last night, things seemed better, and she left the half finished Asset list on the counter this morning.
I am sorry to hear that your wife filed. It is still not over yet, so keep DBing and be positive.
Keep the hope, but listen to your instincts about what she is really telling you. Do not let your emotions cloud your good and knowledgeable judgement.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
I haven't checked in since the beginning. Damn son! You are a quick study! I'm really sorry about the latest development, and that your having trouble with the job search. Hang in there! You seem pretty smart and you write well, which is imporant in most professions.
Just keep your eye on the ball. It seems like there's a lot that can change between filing and the end.
Keep working at this.
ADAPT. OVERCOME. IMPROVISE. -Tom Highway
Me: 43 W: 40 S12 & S9 Married 17yrs Together 20yrs
listen to your instincts about what she is really telling you. Do not let your emotions cloud your good and knowledgeable judgement.
LSG, Please don't mis-understand this, butI just can't get my mind around your meaning. Are you saying that what I thought were positive little signs were just my emotions or that what I saw these last few days quite possibly could have been positive signs but don't let them get in my way?
thanks, I owe it to all those whom went before me. Since I'm not sleeping much right now I use this site to kill time between when I should be going to sleep and wehn I can. This leads to lots of time to read and re-read posts.
Now to focus on those that have filed and are working through it.
).