It would take ENORMOUS planning, but I am ALWAYS GAME for well-executed, high-powered strikes.
This would be like a Brigade-level operation, sort of like "Operation Phantom Fury" in Iraq during the counterinsurgency.
So this is sort of like "counterinfidelity".
I will read General Petraus' strategy manual again, and apply some of the principles to my formulated plan.
"Operation Hell-Rain" is now under way....
My idea relied upon strategic applications of pressure, cutting off avenues and mis-direction. After thinking about it, it seemed applications of pressure from different sources is useful. IE: how I start the pressure on OM#4, and some more a couple days later.
Some of this would get back to the wife, as she is the "trouble starter" in all of this.
The entire thing should last long enough to be a complete wake-up call for nearly anyone.
The weed-call or public drinking call might not get her caught, but would be getting her looked at.
Oh, you could be mad at her too for a month or two and open your doors if you would like later. Maybe you let her do a little more running to get her "oats sowed" or whatever the hell she is doing, so after she gets her series of 2x4's - she will feel as she had her fill and be able to let that life go and come home.
I dunno. I had been thinking about this when reading your sitch for so long, because you had soo much information on many different people.
Its amazing at how quickly your wife accelerated and got around.