You can't have everything, where would you put it?

[ClingingToHope]

So I made it through D8's birthday OK. STBXW sent a text about a movie being overdue that was at my place and she wanted to come get it ASAP.

I was still at work, but she didn't need to know that so I just sent a message "I am not at home. I will take it to the video store."

I texted D8 Happy Birthday and she texted back "Thankes Dad Love D8."

I also sent D11 a text, but she didn't respond.

I then met a friend out for two drinks -- she goes out a lot -- then got some sleep to play golf this morning.

Teed off at 5:30 a.m. It was the semifinals of our company golf tournament and I was playing someone much better than me. Still, I hoped I'd have a chance to win, but I started off badly and fell behind and was really down on myself.

And when that happens the other thoughts swirl -- crumbling marriage, shaky finances, part-time dad.

Wow, it was a pity party. Finally, I snapped out of it on the 12th hole and started playing better and just enjoying the round with friends.

It was a dangerous mixture of emotions though for a while. I can see how people just give up. It takes EFFORT to lift yourself out of those spirals.

D11 has an end of theater camp performance in an hour so I get to see both girls briefly. That'll be good. It'll be the last time I see D11 until Aug. 7. She's out of town at horseback riding camp next week.

I've checked with three friends on going out tonight for a couple of hours. I have the co-dependency class until 9 p.m. and I can't stay out too late. I have to be ready to leave for Chicago at 6 a.m. to work the Rock'n'Roll Half Marathon.

I also had to pull $4,200 out of my IRA to settle my half of the IRS problems as well as put a deposit down on the house I want to rent.

Good times. Good times. I hope a year from now when I look at this post I'll laugh because I'm in such a better place.