Do we have to just take it?

[A_goodman]

Judy,

I'm sorry to welcome you aboard. I hope you stay long enough to get to know some of the folks here. They are top-notch.

The answer to the question in your post is: NO. You don't have to just take it. As a matter of fact, eventually you will learn that there is no amount of poor behavior that you ever have to take again. It seems like semantics at the outset, but stick with it. "Taking it" is totally up to you. As you learn to set boundaries, and start focusing on you, you will learn that letting go is the only truly viable option. Letting go is not the same as doing nothing and enduring whatever he does to you. it isn't a passive activity. You actively let go. And hope. Then you realize the power is really yours.

Don't worry if it sounds stupid right now. I think that's normal. The others are right. there are plenty of examples of folks who succeeded in saving their M on here. But there is almost universal agreement that doing all this led to a happier existance for the individuals that did it regardless of the results.

DanF is right. Soon, the guys/gals with real experience will start weighing in. Listen to them and work at this. You will get happier, sooner than any other thing you're doing now.

Good luck.