Not sure where to start, or end. WAW?

[PMA_Baby!]

If you know it's wrong then stop doing it. Do you need to wear a shock collar? Your W wants a really man. Will it be YOU?? she doesn't want another girlfriend.

Hold the line.

PMA

[john28]

If you want a real laugh, in my dark spot last night, I was seriously contemplating calling an escort service. Yep, imagine that. I had the Yellow Pages open, and was so lonely for some company, some validation, some affection that I was about to PAY FOR IT.

I didn't. It would have made my self-esteem and loneliness 1000x worse.

But just the idea, the thought of it makes me realize how hard this will be for me.

You and I have the same Bomb Day. And this is the first time we've been totally alone. So I feel for you.

I'm not going to lie, and this is weird. I was contemplating the EXACT same thing. But like you, I knew it would not help. This is weird.

[soleil]

Am curious... do a lot of men contemplate escort services in these circumstances?

[pinhead]

Well, it's a sure thing... And one thing we're all lacking right now is any certainty. Also the confidentiality of it is appealing, compared to picking up someone at a bar.

My next door neighbor is a police sargeant. So I don't think having an escort service drop off a woman would be all that anonymous.

[soleil]

^ LOL yeah prob not a good idea with your cop neighbor.

So that is considered better than at a bar huh? I am going to be thinking this over since my H did pick up a random at a bar soon after our separation... interesting.

[pinhead]

It's pretty natural to seek any type of affirmation, so I think your H's actions are pretty typical.

Besides, at a bar, you may get rejected...

[john28]

Am curious... do a lot of men contemplate escort services in these circumstances?

I'll put it this way. In my entire M I've never even looked at another. Never really thought about being with someone else or picking them up, or whatever. But, when you feel alone, and you know it's available to you and it is discreet it is very appealing.

I want to be clear - it's not a sex thing. It's a "I want someone to touch me and make me feel alive again, even if it is fake" thing. And you know you won't be rejected at all, because that's probably what your W has been doing to you. You want to feel accepted.

But, it is still wrong.

[soleil]

Besides, at a bar, you may get rejected...

LOL.

But, when you feel alone, and you know it's available to you and it is discreet it is very appealing.

I want to be clear - it's not a sex thing. It's a "I want someone to touch me and make me feel alive again, even if it is fake" thing.

I see. Well that makes sense.

[john28]

Well she called me at lunch just now and asked how I was doing. We chit-chatted about 5 minutes and i told her I needed to go so I could eat lunch. She said, "But I called you to talk to you...." and I responded with, "I know, I just really want to eat right now."

I then told her I was going out tonight. She asked with who, I told her my friend Eddie and a bunch of his friends are going downtown and I didn't know when I'd be back.

I'm thinking I just won't call her tonight or take her calls. Maybe we need a break from this and some time for both of us to recoup our feelings (her - love/missing, me - independence/non-neediness)

[pinhead]

I think space is the only cure for our sitchs. I hope this weekend makes that apparent to my W, though I doubt it.